​Late last month, ABC’s General Hospital released a “blink and you’ll miss it” promo for a new collectible travel guide. Seeing as how humans can’t stop batting their eyes, additional information was definitely needed. GH's January 3rd episode opened with Lucy Coe (Lynn Herring) recruiting support for a book to boost Port Charles’ city reputation (and her real-estate commission, of course). The nearly five-minute bit was random, awkward and perceivably forced, haha. To boot, we didn’t learn much more about the product. Despite this, I bought Travel Guide to Port Charles: When to Go, Where to Live, Who to Love and Who to Never, Ever Cross in America's Most Dramatic City. What can I say? I can’t resist fan gear, haha. I made a blind purchase, but now you don’t have to. Here’s the 411 on the item:
 
The book is a text-rich 208 pages. There’s a moderate amount of photos, primarily of sets/locations. A few, like that of the PCPD and the Haunted Star, are strangely a little blurry. Pictures of cast members are sparing, and there are no posters.
 
The details are in an engaging storytelling format, linking establishments and neighborhoods to plots. Lucy’s point of view takes the lead, but there are sizable, interview-esque accounts from other figures. I greatly appreciated how inclusive the material was. Whether it was past or present (ex. Lesley Webber or Ava Jerome), peripheral or pivotal (ex. Susan Hornsby’s poisoning or the Ice Princess), it was discussed. No character or tale was too small or dated to be featured (even Milo Giambetti was mentioned!). Viewers from every era have something to enjoy and relate to. Events as recent as early 2018 were covered. Connections to the network’s previous soap operas (ex. All My Children, One Life to Live and Loving) are also explored.
 
GH’s current co-head writer Chris Van Etten was listed as the sole author. He did a great job of capturing Lucy’s essence, with her shady quips and quirky way of explaining things. Although the voicing for other characters was occasionally off, the content was entertaining and humorous. The vivacious approach is what makes the fluff in the back worth reading. Towards the end are passages about PC historical luminaries we’ve never heard of. Naturally, they conveniently have surnames we’d recognize (ex. Hardy, Morgan and Webber). It’s obvious the data was newly made up, but it’s fun. After, are cutesy quizzes that match you with a local family, love interest, and an enemy. I got the Quartermaines and Cesar Faison; I can't remember who my love interest was, haha.
 
Of all the sections, my favorite is the extensive breakdown of the Quartermaine mansion. Other areas sure to pique fan curiosity include Alan Quartermaine’s “diary” and a couples segment. City blocks that carry the sagas of Luke and Laura, Felicia and Frisco, Sonny and Carly, and Lulu and Dante are highlighted. I wish I could provide you all with a helpful “Table of Contents,” but there isn’t one (also strange). Below is a brief gallery to give you an idea of the book’s aesthetic and components.
 
I normally don’t do Birdbox buys, so I’m happy this one didn’t come back to bite me. Informative, amusing and incredibly unique, Travel Guide to Port Charles is a must-have piece of television memorabilia.
 
Both items pictured above are available on Amazon. For the guide, click here. For the Corinthos Coffee mug, click here. 

...Because everyone spills their guts, literally & figuratively, at Pier 52.
​
On August 18th, Soaps in Depth confirmed that Robert Palmer Watkins (A.K.A. Dillon Quartermaine) was deposed from ABC's General Hospital. This comes on the heels of Rebecca Budig's (Hayden Barnes) shocking firing, William Devry's (Julian Jerome) shaky contract talks, and the announced return of Steve Burton (ex-Jason Morgan). Devry is one-half of a hugely popular pairing with Nancy Lee Grahn's Alexis Davis. Budig is an adored, Emmy-nominated soap goddess. Watkins' character is a part of the meager younger set and a fundamental family that's been reprehensibly shrinking since the 2000's (despite fan outcry). These things considered, it makes one ask "What the heck is going on at GH?!"
 
On social media, many viewers have postulated that cuts were made to financially accommodate bringing on Burton. As a result, for every message of support he's received, there's one full of venom. While the budget theory is logical, it can't be said for sure if it's accurate. In any event, Burton has no control over the management and/or production of the series. The actor has also been the target of preemptive anger from fans of Jason-recast Billy Miller, who fear Miller will somehow be ousted from the role. Others are concerned that the character's life away from the mob will be reversed. This goes without saying, but apparently it must be reiterated: Burton isn't responsible for casting or storyline choices, either (whether the fears become a reality or not). Moreover, actor switches usually don't mean characterization alterations...unless of course, a "fake/real Jason" plot is the plan.
 
It can be assumed that Burton's homecoming is an attempt by ABC/GH to boost ratings, but the reality is that if the writing isn't on point, it's a wasted effort. History has shown that it doesn't matter who's on camera if there isn't a valuable script to bring to life. For example, both Budig's appearance and the resurgence of "Carly"-originator Sarah Brown were heavily touted and promoted, but the audience became disengaged and disappointed with the stale narratives. When news came of Budig's axing, there was more discussion about squandered opportunities than what actually existed, which was very telling. One person argued online: "To be fair, both Hayden and Dillon haven't been very significant, but we want them around because we love Rebecca and Robert, and Dillon is a Quartermaine." Feeling there was some truth in the statement, I replied "If Hayden, Dillon or any other figure fails to be impactful, it's because of the writing, 7/10. The actors shouldn't end up without a job because the writers didn't do theirs." In her exit interview with TV Insider,  Jane Elliot (A.K.A. Tracy Quartermaine) expressed sympathy for daytime scribes because of the various constraints they have to work around, such as budgets and demands from advertisers. After reading it, I felt guilty about sharp critiques I made in the past, but I eventually let it go. Though I'm sure some contingencies have changed over time, budgets, advertisers and actor guarantees have always been a part of the equation. Those elements aren't new, and GH has seen better story days. A large roster isn't new either, but fans and soap journalists alike have insisted that cast size is the reason balance, flow and muscle can't be maintained on paper.
 
As for who Burton will portray, I haven't bothered to speculate or get excited because I don't have faith the angle will be well-executed, whatever it is. I prefer he play Jason, but not if that means a "fake/real " scenario. That would be a mistake. It would be too broad of a revision to be sensible, among other things. Recent dialogue has teased that his role may involve Franco's childhood, with a link to Jason Morgan. I can't say I'm thrilled about the Franco portion. There's too much of a jarring, negative record for that to be the connection. GH's executive producer, Frank Valentini, swears "No one has guessed right" about what's in store. With how bleak everyone's theories are, let's hope he's right and some great TV is ahead.

​For more of my thoughts on GH's writing, landscape and future, check out: "Pier 52: GH's Latest Exits & Not Planning the Future"

​One of the things I love about the soap opera genre is that each series, both past and present, has its own personality. The range can be from glitzy and histrionic, to cozy and sentimental. For those of you who watch all 4 of the remaining daytime dramas (or at least 2/4), I have 2 questions:
 
1) What do you love about each?
 
2) What do you think are the strengths and weaknesses of each?
 
Comment on this article to answer! Discussion is encouraged; please be respectful when responding to another user's comments. Thanks! :)

JuLexis & The Davis Girls
What Happened: Alexis (Nancy Lee Grahn) is accused of killing Carlos Rivera because her prints are on Julian's murder weapon, A.K.A. the dagger Helena used to murder Alexis' mother (6/17). Julian (William Devry) wants her to stand trial, promising to get her off (6/20). Alexis teams up with the PCPD and wears a wire, hoping to coax a confession out of him in the homicides of Duke Lavery, Rivera and a court witness (7/6). Julian finds the wire, takes her to the docks and nearly slits her throat before Sonny rescues her and she's able to stab him (7/8). As a result of working in Julian's favor while she was Carlos' lawyer, Alexis is temporarily disbarred (8/17). Leading up to being a star witness for the prosecution in Julian's trial, she has hallucinations of him and ends up freaking out on the stand (9/15). This, coupled with Paul Hornsby doctoring documents so that the wire recording is inadmissible (Ava blackmailed him; she knew he was the hospital killer), sets Julian free (9/20). After all the distress and failing to rebound with her career, Alexis develops a dependency on alcohol (9/27). She blacks out while cookies are burning and Danny is in her care (11/8). While drunk, Alexis accidently hits Julian with her car and flees the scene (11/23). Desperate to reunite with her, sober her up and hide from the latest mysterious crime-lord stepping on his neck, Julian hangs the hit-and-run over Alexis' head to move into her house and force her to nurse him back to health (12/6). He is being controlled by the sister he thought he executed in 1990, Olivia Jerome (Tonja Walker; 1/17). Olivia made Julian carry out his 2016 misdeeds to avenge herself and Duke, whom she loved. She also wants the hospital building to be turned into condominiums. She threatens Julian's family to keep him in line. Tom Baker tried to sexually assault an intoxicated Alexis at knife point over Christmas, but she got away. She thinks she stabbed and killed him (1/9) until her full memory returns while talking to the police (1/30). Alexis joins Alcoholics Anonymous (1/11) and tells Sam what's been going on (1/24). Kristina (Lexi Ainsworth) cheats on Aaron and has sex with Parker (Ashley Jones) when she reveals she may be getting a divorce (7/20). Sonny sees Kristina kissing Parker (7/22) and they have a heart-to-heart about her sexual orientation (7/26).When Alexis confronts and reminds Parker that she has no long-term intentions with Kristina (7/26), she sends a "Dear John" letter (7/28). Kristina blames Alexis for Parker's change of mind and throws Julian in her face (8/12). Parker tells Kristina she's going back to her wife, proving Alexis right (8/25). Molly (Haley Pullos) and TJ (Tequan Richmond) get a place together (6/16).
 
My Commentary:  The downward spiral of 'JuLexis' was exciting, entertaining and fascinating, and anytime Grahn is given sordid material it's a good day because she slays it, but it was also another example of detrimental short-term writing. Julian was written into a such a hole, that it would be virtually impossible to get him out or restore the coupling in the way that wouldn't be utterly absurd. Take his trial verdict, for instance. Within the story, it's detestable and ludicrous that he got away with his crimes. Externally, however, he's a front-burner figure that's 1/2 of a popular pairing. There aren't a lot of viable options to keep him on-screen while serving an acceptable sentence. I knew whatever  "fix" to reconcile Julian with Alexis wouldn't be justifiable, but geez, recycling Fluke was the best they could do? If Alexis doesn't turn him away for any other reason, it should be he's so easy to puppeteer. Many 'JuLexis' fans are criticized on social media for still wanting them together, but I understand their reasoning; they view the events of the past year as they are--the product of stunt scripting. I don't know if I agree with their assertions that Julian was pulled out of character, though. It was so aggravating to see so many in PC question and harshly chastise Alexis before and after her botched testimony, as if she didn't just have the most harrowing experience of her life and had the most to lose if Julian was found innocent. I knew what the jury outcome would be, but I was still shaking my head in disbelief. Grahn had me devastated and shocked with her. By the way, where the hell were the Davis girls and Diane then? I hate when necessary people are missing from important scenes. I very much enjoyed Carlos being some sort of morbid Jiminy Cricket (6/24); Jeffrey Vincent Parise is so fun and I miss him. It also made me smile watching Lucas (7/18) and Sam (8/5; 9/20) take turns disowning their father. I got my entire life when Julian used Danny yet again to manipulate to Sam, and not only did she let him know that Danny doesn't need his bone marrow anymore, but that she'd sic Jason on him or kill him herself. As I feared, Kristina's saga with Parker was summarized and cut short, but there was great beginning discussion about sexuality and heartfelt father/daughter action. Also, many points where Kristina was finally given the business by her mother and sister (i.e. Molly 8/17) for being so destructive, bratty and disrespectful. I jumped up and cheered when Alexis told her "You're not the only person with a problem here, so stop being so damn self-involved and grow up!" Of course, Alexis didn't do this without being reprimanded (8/24). *Rolls eyes* Is she ever allowed to parent?? I passed out when Parker cockily told Alexis she slept with her daughter (7/26). I thought "This is the wrong time to test this woman. Alexis' ability to take B.S. has diminished," haha. I love pissed-off Alexis. Why are Molly and TJ moving in together?! Why did no one object to this?! She's a college freshman! If it isn't having her off-screen most of the time, it's hurling her light-years ahead. 

Paul, Sabrina & How It's Painfully Obvious the Writers Are Winging It
Soap-fans are used to a fair amount historical revisions and logic-defying tales, but rapid plot and characterization changes are happening so frequently now, consistency is non-existent and you're left wondering if the writers are fully mapping out concepts before they air. This was no more apparent than with the return of Paul Hornsby (Richard Burgi). First, he came to town wanting to take over Sonny's territory and use Ava Jerome as a lackey. Then, when the writers seemingly considered pairing him with Anna Devane, he was an undercover good guy that was trying to stop arms dealers. Though Paul took TJ hostage to bait and shoot Sonny (he was paralyzed and wheelchair bound for months after), this was never addressed. Finally, Paul was made the hospital serial killer, whose motive was to avenge his daughter's rape, with expectations she'll come out of her post-traumatic state. It was evident that he wasn't the intended culprit initially, as the attempted murders of Lucas Jones and Bobbie Spencer didn't fit into the payback score and were put on Heather Webber. Somehow, she quietly escaped a super-max prison with the goal of keeping suspicion off her son, Franco, and returned. It was more than a possibility that the murder mystery was just as whipped up as Paul's arc. I felt sorry for Burgi; it was such a hot mess and he ended up without a job. He went out swinging: his performances were so emotionally grabbing (especially on 9/27 and 9/28), that you had sympathy for Paul, even when he strangled sweet nurse Sabrina (Teresa Castillo) to death (9/14). He convincingly conveyed grief and ruefulness in Paul's final attack, as Sabrina was an inadvertent witness that had to be eliminated. The scenes were particularly hard to watch because she begged for her life for several minutes and was on the brink of rescue the whole time. At one point, she even pulled the blinds up on the medical room window and banged on it. As if that weren't agonizing enough, her best friend and boyfriend (i.e. Felix and Michael) giddily talked about an impending marriage proposal right outside the room where she lay dead. Then, in what felt like multiple episodes, we saw her pale corpse be photographed and grieved over before going to the morgue. Michael even put the (gorgeous and unique) engagement ring on her finger! The icing on the tear-jerking cake for me was when Felix (Marc Anthony Samuel) stopped the gurney for a last goodbye (9/16). His monologue closes with "I am going to miss you for the rest of my life," and a beautiful BFF montage played. I was done. Also, kudos to Sonya Eddy with Epiphany lamenting her treatment of Sabrina on 9/21. It was ridiculous that Felix, Epiphany and Lucy were all sitting on rows further back at her funeral, while Michael and both sides of his family were perched up front (9/23). Even her killer was front row! Her cousin Juan (who was on GH long before she was), Joe Rivera (Carlos' twin brother and Sabrina's ex), and other mentioned connections were absent. Sometimes they don't get this kind of thing right. Many of those that were aggrieved by Castillo's exit felt she and her character were never given proper wings to fly during her 4 year stint. Like Burgi, Castillo went out shining and showed what could have been. I discussed the lack of support I feel actors/characters are given on the series and how it affects the future here. On 10/3, Paul is taken down by Anna in front of Dillon before he can inject Tracy, who found out about the homicides, with a fatal syringe. It was a pretty tense and sad episode. I go on to pinpoint other chaotic and slapdash plots throughout this article.

​The Corinthos Clan, Kiki & Ava
What Happened: A year after finding out that Josslyn's kidney donor wasn't Jake Spencer, Carly starts a search for the real person (7/26). It turns out to be Nelle Hayes (Chloe Lanier; 8/8), a teacher who claims her parents took her kidney against her will when she was young for black market profit (8/16). Anxious to show gratitude and get acquainted, Carly invites her to stay a while. Nelle says she's lost her job, shortly before framing Avery's nanny for theft, giving way to Carly hiring her (8/22). She's later offered the position of personal assistant (9/9) and makes herself indispensable, raising the suspicions of Bobbie (10/28). Kiki (Hayley Erin) struggles to work out her feelings between Morgan and Dillon. Carly (Laura Wright) pushes her to make a decision, so a still-fragile Morgan (Bryan Craig) won't have another breakdown (6/30), and Kiki opts to set Dillon (Robert Palmer Watkins) aside. Ava (Maura West) replaces Morgan's bipolar medication with placebos, hoping his manic behavior will frighten Kiki away (8/16). Starting to spiral indeed, flub ups at work and school lead to him retreating to gambling, drinking and being dismissive to Kiki. Overwhelmed and still interested in Dillon, she plans to break it off with Morgan (10/6). Ava riles Morgan up by telling him Kiki and Dillon were hanging out (10/5). He goes to the Quartermaine mansion to find her, and mistakes the shadows of Ned and Olivia making love for Kiki and Dillon. He gets hammered at the bar, and when prevented from driving by TJ, he punches TJ out and steals Julian Jerome's car. Jason gets him to pull-over, but when Morgan gets out, a bomb explodes and kills him. His remains are not recovered (10/7). Given that Sonny (Maurice Benard) was in the process of calling off a hit on Julian that Carly begged him not to initiate in the first place, it's assumed he's responsible for Morgan's death. The Corinthos Clan is at odds and Kiki's guilt causes her to renege on being with Dillon, as she believes Morgan knew she was going to leave him (10/12). Lucy sees Ava dumping Morgan's pills, assumes they were having an affair and holds the threat to tattle over Ava's head (11/7). Sonny has visions of a post-accident Morgan telling him to commit suicide (10/31). Carly leans on Jax (Ingo Rademacher) and kisses him (11/21). Nelle pretends to accidentally spill the beans to a drunk and despondent Sonny, whom she drugs. She stages his bedroom to make him think they slept together (11/28). She records their various conversations about that night. At Morgan's funeral (11/11), Sonny turns himself into police for the bomb (11/14). In investigating why the hit wasn't called off, Jason finds that someone else planted the explosive (11/15). He doesn't have enough evidence to exonerate Sonny, who posts bail and has to wear a home ankle monitor. Carly and Sonny start to mend things around Christmas and New Years Eve, and Michael develops a crush on Nelle. Bobbie confronts Nelle after finding one of her pills in Sonny's bedroom, and warns her not to mess with her family (12/28). Nelle drops her sweet facade to throw Bobbie's past in her face, but it doesn't rattle her (1/10).
 
My Commentary:   I had pity for both Morgan and Kiki during this period. Morgan was making strides, and the chain of events that led to him losing Kiki and his life wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Ava stealing his meds. It was heartbreaking to hear how confused and disenchanted he was in his recovery journals (11/4), trying to do everything by the book and still failing. I had my first real occurrences of compassion for Kiki, who expressed to both Franco (10/3) and Dillon (10/7) that she was losing sight of herself by constantly being on emotional eggshells with Morgan, tending to his needs while ignoring her own. I was impressed that the writers gave her enough self-awareness to acknowledge her revolving door dating patterns, but it was negated: as soon as she had this epiphany, she declared she was going to drop Morgan for Dillon (10/7). There was also great dialogue about Kiki and Morgan's dynamic (and Corinthos operanti in general) between Ava and Sonny on 6/8, where Ava called out Sonny and Carly's subconscious selfish motives for encouraging the young pair to remain entangled: "You want Kiki to make it her life's work...to be his caretaker the way that Carly is yours...It doesn't matter how crazy you get, she'll stay, but Kiki is a vulnerable young woman; she's still trying to find her way in life. She's not equipped to care for Morgan." Considering Ava's just and logical concerns that Kiki would be emotionally and/or physically hurt being around Morgan, it didn't make sense that she would leave Kiki susceptible to him unmedicated. Not to mention, Morgan could have harmed himself--he almost jumped off a roof a few months before. Plus, she'd  absolutely lose her custody of Avery if she got caught. They continually have Ava taking extremely low blows that exceed delicious villan-ry (no, that's not a word, haha). If West wasn't such a marvelous actress, this character would be ruined already. 

With Morgan on a destructive path, a long-term hospitalization would be a painless and feasible route for Craig's exit, but no, the character just had to be blown-up...as if he wasn't a historical figure and the younger set isn't small enough. Nonetheless, excellent performances ensued, naturally (shout-out to Dominic Zamprogna, A.K.A. Dante). My personal favorites were from West and Wright. Ava's tortured breakdown on 10/11 after hearing Morgan died was the stuff of soap dreams and West's innate passion was the perfect ingredient for it. Mascara covered tears fell down her face, as guilt-ridden flashes of her removing the pills seesawed with memories of their tawdry love affair, causing her to obliviously drop her martini glass. She sobs while picking up the shards, realizing she's involved in killing the only man she's loved since being in PC. Overtaken, she flings the pieces and screams, "What have I done?!!" She bumps into Bobbie the next day, who asks if she ever truly loved Morgan. Ava replies "Yeah, I loved him...very much. There was a time when he was the only one who saw good in me at all. Now I suppose anyone who ever did (veiled reference to Nikolas?) is gone," and dashes off to crumble on the elevator. Carly's bouts of rage were everything (I can't come up with a suitable adjective, so we'll go with "everything"). On 10/12, Sonny got it about Julian's hit. Before smashing a childhood photo of Morgan, she fumed, "...A bomb blew him up. You couldn't help yourself could you? You had to be the one to finish Julian. And now...our beautiful little boy is dead, and you killed him!!" An Emmy reel clip, I'm sure. Sidebar: the "beautiful little boy" line was repeated so much, you could've made a drinking game out of it. Do the writers not notice duplicate phrases? Anyhow, in a scene I've craved desperately, Kiki finally felt Caroline's wrath on 10/24, when she heard Kiki's plan to break up with her son might have been a part of the tragic formula. She became so incensed, she shoved Kiki and threw something in her direction: "You can blame yourself...for doing exactly what I begged you not to do!...I knew you were a liar...I knew you were a pathetic, petty little girl who would break my son's heart...hell, we all failed Morgan didn't we?! Get out!" Kiki was left to bawl in Sonny's arms, and I was howling laughing on the floor. I never understood why Carly didn't hate Kiki, when the girl had a hand in permanently tarnishing Michael and Morgan's relationship. She had more contempt for Sabrina! Carly and Alexis tag-teamed Julian on 10/26, when he unfeelingly and arrogantly made it clear he was happy that it was Morgan (whom he described as a "misbegotten runt") in the car versus him. A tipsy Alexis told Julian she wished it was him after all, and chuckled as Carly slapped him and kicked him out of the Metro Court. It was delightful. Alexis had a sweet moment with Sonny also over Julian (10/24). My "SaSon" heart burst when Jason offered his support to Sonny, only for him to quip "Who are you kidding? I lost you a long time ago" and blame Jason for refusing to assassinate Julian (10/26). Sonny professed his abhorrence for Jason's distance since coming back from the dead, he claimed they weren't friends and told Jason to leave. The conversation registered with me as a viewer, because I too feel like things haven't been the same with Jason. I was hoping a sense of familiarity would return when he retrieved his memories, but that has yet to happen. Any attachment I have is based on the principle he's Jason Morgan; not because I'm actually experiencing him.
 
As for this Nelle business, I believe the plot is being put together as we speak, like the hospital murders.
A deceased Jake was supposed to be Josslyn's donor; Helena Cassadine staged the death and kidnapped the little boy (we still don't know what she did to him over the years he was with her). The obvious conclusion would be that Helena was behind Joss' black-market kidney, but the audience saw that there was a cover up to make it appear that way (I guess this was done because Helena is currently presumed dead). Then, we see Jax get all fidgety at the mention of the donation and make a suspicious phone call (8/16). He later admits to Alexis he bought the kidney (11/16). This doesn't add up because he thought Jake's organ was going to be used. Eventually, we hear Nelle repeatedly bring up having a hard-knock life, grumble under her breath about Carly, and set Sonny up. She has a baby rattle with "Caroline" engraved. On 12/13, she looks at her procedure scar and says something like "That still doesn't change what you did, Carly." She looks at a letter from her father before she cons Sonny, hinting that another party is involved. Again, 1+1 isn't equaling 2. Jossyln had an emergency surgery and there was an organ on tap, but Jax was interested and had time to order another and get it on the table before anyone could notice? The organ just so happened to come from a female child linked to Carly's adoptive family who now wants payback, despite the fact that Carly had no idea a shady exchange took place? The math's isn't computing because the malefactor and their motive have kept changing, and each time, there isn't proper shaping. After-shot stories can be difficult to contend with (this an effect of bringing Jake back to life), but there was a year before Carly searched for the truth. Why pick the ball back up if you're not ready to roll it? Anyway, I cackle every time Nelle has a run in with Bobbie!: "See, the problem is I'm a Spencer. You don't know what that means, but I won't let anyone harm my daughter or her family."
 
One last thing about this crew...I get that Carly's increasing misgivings about violence are a part of character maturation and there's this unspoken movement to depart from the mob era of the 2000's,
but let's face it: our sole existing patriarch, Sonny Corinthos, is a mobster, and he and Carly are the couple-face of this soap. Altering this equation in any way could be disastrous if not handled in the delicate manner that it should be, and frankly, I don't trust this regime to do that. I've used a lot of math jargon, huh?

Friz, Fayden & How GH is Continuing its Ugly Rape History
What Happened: Elizabeth (Rebecca Herbst) and Franco (Roger Howarth) get closer and kiss for the first time on 6/22. Liz chooses to turn in Hayden's illegally-held diamonds. Heather tells Franco that she's been financially blackmailing Hayden's mother, Naomi, with the information that she had an affair with Jeff Webber and produced Hayden. This would make Hayden and Liz half-sisters. Worried that Liz may have seen him with a syringe, hospital serial killer Paul causes a power outage and pushes her down the stairs (8/29). Hayden (Rebecca Budig) finds her and searches for help, but a disoriented Liz thinks she did the deed (8/30), leading to her arrest (9/1). Curtis and Finn exonerate Hayden with a photo showing Paul's feet on Liz's phone (9/9). Liz is need of blood and has a rare blood type. Hayden donates in exchange for her diamonds (9/9), but Sabrina had already handed them over (9/13). Hayden ends up in cuffs again after finding out she and Liz are related on 9/14, but Naomi takes the rap (9/28). Hayden and Finn finally give into their feelings for each other and almost have sex (10/25). After learning that Finn (Michael Easton) has an incurable life-threatening disease, she and Tracy (Jane Elliott) work to find him foreign medicine to keep him alive (7/12). He ultimately gets help from the endlessly resourceful Sonny (7/18). Hayden contracts the illness after being exposed to a pathogen in Finn's lab (11/9). He successfully concocts a remedy, but it doesn't work on him (12/28). He evades Hayden's questions about his health. Liz gets a phone call that her rapist, Tom Baker, is up for parole (11/8). She writes a stirring letter to the board, hoping to steer their decision to no avail. Tom is released into his brother Seth's care, and Franco goes to threaten him away from Liz (11/16). Seeing Liz's pain moves Franco to approach Sam about making her think he raped her in 2011 (11/18). With the intent of making Tom violate his parole by missing an appointment, Franco puts him in a dog crate with a shocker attached to his neck when he tries to lure Kiki (12/12). When Franco goes to let him out, they tussle and Tom locks him in the crate. Franco has visions of his evil ego, Sam and Liz talking about his potential to be good (12/21). Tom Baker is stabbed on 12/28 by Seth, but Franco is the prime suspect. Franco gathers that Alexis might have actually done it, but is snatched by Seth and left in a storage unit (1/13). Trying to clear Franco and avoid hurting Alexis, Liz goes to Sam for help (1/19). Sam locates and frees Franco (1/27). Liz sees Seth to gather clues. She finds a creepy photo album, showing that Tom was still a predator. Seth confesses he snapped when he saw Tom harassing Alexis, and that he was tired of the turmoil (I kind of felt sorry for him). He corners Liz when she says she wants to show the album to the police, but Franco arrives before things escalate. Seth is apprehended by officers (1/30). 
 
My Commentary: I wanted to love Hayden with Nikolas because the actors' chemistry was so steamy, but things were so speedily done and the logistics made the match unattainable. With Finn, the relationship simmered and blossomed more organically, which is refreshing in this "romantic musical chairs" climate on GH. It's been a 2-for-1 special too, as a ripened friendship with Tracy is a part of their package. The episode where a declining  and delirious Hayden thought Finn and Tracy were her parents and she let out her childhood ghosts was incredibly touching (12/13). I suppose the writers wanted to expound on Hayden and Liz's amusing rivalry by making them sisters, but they evidently didn't marinate on what to do beyond that, so it was D.O.A. THEE Jeff Webber was made an adulterer for a haphazard idea; what a shame. I enjoyed Hayden pointing Liz on her hypocritical self-righteousness and how she plays innocent when they fought about Nikolas' death and the diamonds before slapping her: "...with your wide eyes and your baby voice; sweet little Elizabeth...I see you for the pathetic liar you are (8/29)."
 
Onto "Friz" (Franco and Liz)...This coupling has been a controversial one and with good reason. Critics found it unsettling, to say the least, that a character who's committed a sexual violation (and unpunished at that) would be put with a victim of rape. Some assumed that Tom Baker was reintroduced as a means of tackling (any maybe even rectifying, if possible) this, but inappropriate discourse and an imbalanced focus on Franco showed that GH hadn't learned from its ugly history of mishandling the topic of sexual assault and using it as a plot-device. It was so disconcerting that a pivotal story that hadn't been levered in almost 20 years was unearthed, not to serve the legacy figure/actress at the center of it, but to redeem and make a hero out of a newer character that had nothing to do with it. Outside of Liz writing her parole letter and telling Franco she was raped, it was all about Franco: his gallant efforts to protect the women he cares about and demonstrate that he's worthy of Liz, coming to grips with his past, controlling his impulses and whether there's such thing as criminal rehabilitation. 

​In regards to Sam, it was Franco's show too. For those that need a brief recap of what Franco did to her: during Jason and Sam's honeymoon, Franco trapped Jason in a camera room and made the guy watch as he took a drugged Sam from the shower, laid her on the bed and undressed himself. He threw his shirt on the camera. Sam became pregnant and Franco was thought to be the father for a year. This life-changing moment started a long-term domino effect of tragedy that included Sam thinking her son Danny was dead 4 months while another woman cared for him. A few things needed to be tweaked to blend the part of Franco in when Howarth took it on in 2013, so the camera element was used to say Franco pretended to rape Sam. Additionally, a brain tumor was written as the source of his maladaptive behavior. The tumor was removed, but there was no motion toward resolution with his transgression. Franco continued to taunt and disparage Sam and Jason, and tried to drive a wedge between Jason and Jake (his son with Liz). Any remote attempts at contrition were self-absorbed. Walking in on Sam, Franco and Liz arguing, Jake asks why Sam hates Franco (10/11). Franco says he was sorry for a "really bad lie" he told Sam, but he never apologized, thinking it was "useless" since she wasn't going to forgive him. This statement implies that apologies should only be offered if they grant you forgiveness, and that it's Sam's fault he hadn't stated his regrets. He stopped Sam on an elevator on 11/18 to try to be more direct, but his sentences had a lot of "I's" in them: "Something recently happened to somebody that I really care about [Elizabeth]...it's made me realize that I have to come to terms with some things...I don't want to be the guy that does the kind of things we're talking about...I don't want to be that kind of man ever again." In his hallucination of Sam, she emphasizes that she went 1,305 days thinking she was raped, had no real assurance the act wasn't committed, and how she'd never see justice. "Sam" leaves on the note that he'll feel sorrow once a provoked Tom goes after Liz again. Such powerful material was reserved for the perpetrator's inner-dialogue, versus the sufferer getting to unleash their anguish or receive any kind of retribution. Further irking, the primary catalyst and motive for all of this reflection was that Franco had a girl he was trying to get. Damn Sam's journey, healing and justice--this isn't about that-- this is about making a couple work. There was all this talk about what Tom deserved; what about our other assailant? My jaw hung open when Scotty said to Franco, "All rapists should go to jail." Really? How about that....

​Franco was regularly in Sam's orbit. She was forced to share even more oxygen with Franco after he began dating Liz, and Liz was shockingly unaccommodating and unsympathetic. One viewer argued that Liz wouldn't care about Sam's incident because of their dynamic, but this was an experience Liz profoundly understood. A victim disenfranchising another?? Extra stunning, Liz went to Sam's house about Franco and Alexis' implication in Tom's murder and said "You need to help Franco." Help her attacker?!  That line was so egregious, I was convinced it was a ploy to get Twitter thumbs moving. Like an awful infomercial, I had to wait because there was more. When Sam didn't budge, Liz pleads "...If she's [Alexis] the one who killed Tom, then I'm sure she suffered at his hands first. And if that's the case, then you and I both know what she's going through...if you can't bring yourself to intervene for Franco's sake, do it for your mother's." Now, they have a common horror? And was that common horror just used to get Sam to free the man (by extension) that executed said horror?! I shouldn't have been surprised, given Liz and Franco's problematic Halloween scene. Franco's already agitated demeanor became heated with jealousy from seeing Liz speak with Griffin. When Liz probed him about his attitude, he questioned whether or not their relationship was real because they hadn't slept together. Liz is thrown and asks "You're acting like a jerk because we haven't had sex yet?!," but quickly promises they will in due time. I was so bothered by this, I was moved to tweet a note to the official GH account.
 
If this excruciating part of Liz and Sam's lives was going to be drudged up, it should have been to tell an inspiring and insightful "life after" tale. Instead, it was exploited to create and bolster a breakthrough for an offender, while Liz and Sam were in the background. Franco received redemption before Sam got retribution. Yea, that seems just.

Nikolas, Lulu, ValentINA & JaSam
What Happened: In the wrong place at the wrong time, Jason (Billy Miller) is implicated in Nikolas' fake-murder that was set up for Hayden (6/3). Nikolas is spotted by Ava on a plane (6/14), who unknowingly is being tracked by a man looking to retrieve a family heirloom she bought on the black market (6/20). This man draws them to his estate and locks them in a room (6/17). They break out (6/23) and head to Cassadine Island. Jason and Sam track Ava and Nikolas down (7/6). Spencer (Nicolas Bechtel) tells Laura (Gene Francis) Nikolas is alive (7/11), and she goes to the island with Lulu, Dante and Kevin. Before they can all leave, they're taken hostage by Valentin Cassadine (James Patrick Stuart), an illegitimate son of Mikkos, who wanted payback for being ignored (7/15). Valentin forces Nikolas (played by Nick Stabile at this point) to sign over his inheritance and then shoots him dead, falling out of a window (7/19). The gang escapes the mansion (7/26) and gets off the island (8/2). Valentin is arrested and extradited after being stopped from harming Spencer by Jason and Sonny when he comes to PC (8/5). Sam (Kelly Monaco) discovers she's pregnant (8/8). Jason and Sam get engaged (8/16) and they marry on 9/2. Nina (Michelle Stafford) gets help from Curtis to do an under-the-table adoption (8/16). In a last ditch effort to have a biological child, Lulu (Emme Rylan) searches for her embryo taken by Stravos (8/29). Valentin returns to PC clear of charges and claims Wyndemere (10/28). He has a young daughter named Charlotte with Claudette Beaulieu (Bree Williamson; 11/4), who had a green-card  marriage to Nathan (Ryan Paevey) before cheating on him with Griffin (Matt Cohen; 6/6). Claudette told both Nathan (9/28) and Griffin (10/19) they were Charlotte's father, explaining she was trying to protect Charlotte from the dangerous Valentin. Claudette leaves town for her life, but Valentin catches up with her (10/26). Later, her body is found in Canadian waters to look like a suicide (1/11). Valentin tells Lulu that Claudette was Charlotte's surrogate and that she's Charlotte's real mother (12/9). He alleges Helena used him to make another Cassadine heir with the embryo Stravos took. Lulu's full court press to take Charlotte home leads to the little girl disliking her (1/19) and Valentin petitioning for full custody. He marries Nina (12/28), whom he got close to after a one-night-stand in August. Valentin has a torrid WSB past with Anna Devane, whom he feels jilted him for his previous deformities (1/19, 1/23). ​

​My Commentary: This section of the show was a mix of the writers improvising, modifying and just plain winging it (as I highlighted with Paul). The flips were understandable to an extent, but again, execution matters. Love is in the details. Nikolas' faux-death and the fiasco on Cassadine Island were on-the-spot to bridge the time Tyler Christopher was in contract negotiations, so I'm willing to look past that (his last appearance was 6/19). I can't judge them too harshly for the abrupt scraping of the Claudette story that just wasn't working  either. I'll also throw in credit for trying to tinker with it first. However, the tinkering was really sloppy. In the blink of an eye, Claudette was obsessed with Nathan, obsessed with Griffin, had a secret child, was long-hunted by Valentin and ended up a dead surrogate. I was elated to see Williamson back in daytime, but she didn't stand a chance in this role. Valentin and his aims switched up quite a bit as well. He went from being an abuser of women and an estranged Cassadine that purportedly had Queen Helena shook, to a former hunchback and WSB agent whose kindness washed upon being spurned by Anna. Now, he's in this custody fight with Lulu that shouldn't be happening because, 1) the embryo robbery was in 2013 and Charlotte is way older than age 4, and 2) Stravos matched his sperm with Lulu's egg. Valentin would have no chance to be the biological father, but you know how they love to act like we don't watch this soap. I thought it was nuts they had Lulu on the adamant hunt for the specimen. It was obtained by appalling intrusion by the man who sexually accosted her mother (Nikolas was the product). Moreover, her child with Stravos would be both nephew and sibling to Nikolas. She wanted a bio-kid at any cost, and never once checked with Dante about his feelings. I thought the embryo would come back in a more creepy, The Omen kind of way. That could still happen, I guess, haha. While I hate to see Lulu barred from Charlotte, she's been acting very foolishly and selfishly at Charlotte's expense. Nina wasn't totally wrong when she accused Lulu of not putting Charlotte's emotions first. Speaking of Nina, I think it's out of character that she would so staunchly side with Valentin against Lulu, bearing in mind her own battles with fertility. To alleviate this dissonance, it should be underlined that Nina is skewing her beliefs and empathy to capture her family fairytale. Since they are finally trying to give her a story again, that angle might add some dimension. I almost cried for her Argentina (hey Evita fans!) when Ava busted up her near-successful adoption with an expectant mother in the park (9/2). The woman frantically ran away when Ava told her how Nina induced her labor to take Avery in 2014. When Ava touted that "actions have consequences," Nina questioned when she would pay for killing Connie, sexing troubled Morgan and breaking up her marriage to Silas years ago. It was a pretty terrific clip; I love watching West and Stafford go toe-to-toe. I have a million reasons why I miss Christopher; one of them is that I really wanted to see him and West tango some more. I think their chemistry might have rivaled his with Budig.

​Alrighty, now about 'JaSam' (Jason and Sam). The divorce they filed for in March 2016 was completely superfluous, but it brought about the semi-traditional wedding I've always wanted for them, so that makes it a little better, haha. I know formal isn't their style, but seeing those two in a gown and tux (Miller only wore one in promo photos *rolls eyes*) is too gorgeous of an idea to pass up. My absolute favorite parts of the ceremony were Spinelli's appearance as officiant, Sam's feminist-as-hell vows and Carly's love speech to her (is hell frozen?). Spinelli's leading words weren't full of highly-romanticized, idealistic platitudes, but an honest description of JaSam's trek: "Jason and Sam weren't made for each other. Their love has surmounted so many challenges, but neither loss, separation or misunderstanding could keep them apart. They are, in the truest sense of the word, soulmates." As opposed to offering the fabled and misguided Jerry Maguire "You complete me" sentiments, Sam stressed how Jason added on to her life: "You don't take away from my independence. You make me more; you don't make me less. You add to everything that I am." Much ado is made about her unyielding beef with Liz, but I venture to say the bad blood between Sam and Carly is much thicker. It all started with Sam's 2004 affair with Sonny, in which she got pregnant and Jason was going to play daddy. One could say it wasn't all quiet on the western front until Jason was presumed dead in 2012. Now, they're almost sister like. Toasting, Carly says, "It took me far too long to appreciate you...and to see what everyone else could see, that you and Jason are a perfect match. You're loyal, kind and you're a good friend. Welcome to the family." I promise the world is spinning in reverse now. For more on Sam in relation to Franco, check out the last few paragraphs of the "Friz & Fayden" section. For a tidbit on Jason not feeling like Jason, read the last part of commentary paragraph 2 in the "Corinthos Clan" section.
 
Other Notes
Wedding Bells: Hey, Brad and Lucas got married (6/13)! Too bad we didn't see them for months after that. How was the honeymoon? What did Lucas (Ryan Carnes) think about Julian's acquittal? Who knows?! It's not like this was monumental as GH's first gay wedding (which included a legacy character) or anything. The 'Naxie' (Nathan and Maxie) ceremony was so beautiful and sweet. So glad it finally happened (1/17).
 
TJ's DNA & 'JorTis': TJ found out that he was the result of his mother's infidelity and Shawn is his father (6/16). He confronted Jordan (Vinessa Antoine) on 7/1. Richmond always performs well when he gets some play; he should get more. What young actor gets just due on this show, though? Jordan and Curtis were about to do the dirty, but ended up just kissing (1/26). I get for show purposes, Curtis (Donnell Turner) and Jordan are circling each other, but it's a tad odd he'd be interested in the woman who cheated on his now deceased brother.
 
Spencer's Pain: It was awesome watching Sonny and Jason act like Batman and Robin again to take out Valentin and protect Spencer (8/5). Without saying much, Spencer figures out from Sonny that Nikolas is dead. Bechtel had me tearing up as he yelled "I'm gonna see my dad I again!"
 
Since these commentary pieces are called "Lunch in Port Charles," I usually close them with a cute GIF of characters munching or hanging out at Kelly's Diner. This time, I want to pay homage to Tyler Christopher by posting one that expresses just how I feel about him (sign my petition to get him back here): 

...Because everyone spills their guts, literally & figuratively, at Pier 52.
 
In a period of 24 hours starting on September 14th (I'm sure a record was broken), it was announced that ABC's General Hospital lost 3 actors: Tyler Christopher ("Nikolas Cassadine"), Bryan Craig ("Morgan Corinthos") and Teresa Castillo ("Sabrina Santiago"). The former 2 won Daytime Emmys just 6 months ago for Outstanding Lead and Younger Actor in a Drama Series, respectively. Christopher originated his role as an heir of a wealthy, unbalanced royal family in 1996. He's left the series twice; the second time he was unexpectedly let go in 2011 and fans rallied for a reversal, not seeing him again until 2013. Christopher was temporarily replaced during a sabbatical this summer, while Nikolas faked his death, only to be shot by Valentin Cassadine (portrayed by James Patrick Stuart) and presumed dead again. There wasn't a formal send-off with a wrapped-up storyline, flashy funeral and sentimental montages, as Christopher said in late July he thought he'd return to set in September. Somewhere in that short month and a half, contract negotiations reportedly fell through. Bryan Craig came on the scene in 2013 as the first actor to play an aged Morgan Corinthos. His performance was applauded out of the gate, with him nabbing a Daytime Emmy nomination in his first year and consecutively since. He chose to leave the series, stating he felt it was "the right time." Castillo arrived a year before Craig, as a nerdy duckling-turned-swan nurse with a heart of gold. Apparently, it was a writing choice that led to the actress' contract not being renewed; her character was strangled by the hospital serial killer (9/14). Sabrina joins the long list of newer figures to not stick around for the long haul or full-time. With the extremes of a veteran actor and freshman talent, these departures bring attention to GH's secret elephant of a problem: they aren't building for the future.
 
As I wrote in my "We Need Tyler Christopher Back on General Hospital!" petition mission statement (click here if you'd like to sign it), legacy characters/actors are the backbone of a soap opera. They are the threads in the tapestry and help maintain a sense of familiarity. That said, they should be regarded with great care and respect. However, 30+ year personas (ex. Monica Quartermaine, Lucy Coe, Laura Spencer & Kevin Collins) are given little or nothing to do, while the 10-20-year class is allowed to walk--sometimes in the middle of a front-burner storyline-- as if they're dispensable. In 2016 alone, contract impasses saw Jason Thompson ("Dr. Patrick Drake") heading over to CBS' The Young & The Restless, Rebecca Herbst ("Elizabeth Webber") almost out, and now Christopher. It might be unfair or inaccurate to say there isn't reverence, but it feels like the attitude is that we viewers should just be glad to see the older-set, even though they're treated like relics instead of legends with these barely-there plots. Further, when actors don't seem to be fought for, it makes you wonder if they're valued by the honchos. How can you lay the groundwork for the next generation if you let the foundation, from which they'd launch, fall out? That is...if they ever launch.
 
There's been an effort to broaden and add to GH's canvas (ex. there's been more minority-race casting in recent years than in the last decade), but that's where it stops. New characters are cut off at the knees, never to blossom into proper supporting players because they're habitually used as romantic placeholders, props, plot-devices, side-kicks and air-time fillers. Promising storylines are abandoned and/or characterizations are altered in an unfavorable way. The mixed reaction to Sabrina's death online, for instance, was all about what they didn't do with the part. Numerous comments on Twitter were in the frame of "She was useless anyway" or "It's a shame because she had potential." Sabrina was never given her own tale. She spent the first-half of her tenure helping Patrick lick his wounds until his wife (and true love) came back from the dead, and the second-half championing Michael Corinthos through a breakup with Kiki Jerome and a custody battle over his half-sister. Consequently, most followers she had weren't exclusively hers--they were interested in her as long as she was with their guy; otherwise, they weren't paying attention. It was only legitimately about her twice: 1) when she tried to cause Ava Jerome's miscarriage to avenge her own, and 2) when she went on the run with the only link to her past in the cast, Carlos Rivera (Jeffrey Vincent Parise). The miscarriage angle was a flash-in-the-pan unfortunately, and the other was wildly whipped up for Castillo's maternity leave. That was another issue--rather than creating clever and convenient exits, both of Castillo's pregnancies were written in, causing Sabrina's life to be deconstructed repeatedly. Determined to work again as a nurse, Sabrina pronounced to Michael that she needed to have her "own life." I thought that meant she would finally get a meaningful day in the sun, but in actuality, the sun was setting. One of many missed opportunities, in my opinion. As TV Guide magazine's Michael Logan tweeted, Castillo is a "lovely, luminous actress." Parise was wasted too; Carlos was a plot-device hot potato, passed around to fill in several stories and recklessly killed twice.

​I wouldn't be surprised if arc trajectory was a factor in Bryan Craig's decision to dip. From the beginning, Morgan was used to bolster others, while he was left chasing his tail in circles. The only biological child of fan-favorites Carly Benson and Sonny Corinthos, Morgan was sent away as a protective measure from his father's dangerous mobster lifestyle (the irony of this later). His half-brother, Michael (who Sonny adopted), remained with the family. His attachment to his girlfriend Kiki was based on the fact that they were 2 of a kind and she understood him. I looked forward to the day Morgan was aged, because I assumed a provocative, well-done narrative about a family untangling the toxic strands and twisted history of their dynamic was ahead (with a sibling struggle over DNA and inheritance on the side, of course). Instead, everything was about how much trouble Morgan was causing 'CarSon' and how perfect Michael was in comparison.
 
A legal Morgan might have come on with Kiki, but he was clearly just her welcome mat: she ran off to be the daughter of a major villain (Franco) and a long-lost Quartermaine (albeit temporarily), and eventually dumped Morgan for his big brother. The writers changed Kiki's DNA and her characterization (from an unsophisticated and mouthy horndog, to a sanitized princess) to make the new match feasible. Sonny encouraged Michael to pursue Kiki, and Carly--who's usually a "mama bear"-- never protested.  This, coupled with Sonny outing a huge secret of Morgan's, made him feel even more like a family outsider. As opposed to exploring heartbreak and isolation (and what it can make you do), Morgan's subsequent string of bad decisions were painted as the root of him being inherently flawed, ignorant, impulsive and immoral. Once that was the going narrative, it didn't change. There was never any balance or conceptualizations about shared responsibility, poor parenting and loyalty. Sonny, Kiki and Michael had all betrayed him, but the response was "that low-down, dirty dog shouldn't have lied about Kiki's paternity!" Even now, when the aforementioned parties discuss mistakes they made with Morgan, this situation isn't mentioned. Later, Morgan drugs Michael so he'd lose custody of Avery and she'd be returned to Sonny. Brother Dante said "I'm ashamed of Morgan!," and Sabrina told Michael "he's jealous of who you are" (a sentiment repeated by various people), but there was no discussion about how and why Morgan would be so desperate for Sonny's approval, he'd do such an awful thing. Any valid feelings or observations Morgan had were warped into baseless whines in the script, and CarSon's nepotism was revised to be a figment of his imagination. When even the bit part of Rosalie was switched from being interested in Morgan to Michael, it was apparent favoritism wasn't just the point of view of fictional parents.
 
Morgan continued to cause irreparable damage, much without context. Eventually, he'd be diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but the "bad seed" stamp would never lift. He'd cheat on Kiki, inadvertently get her shot and suffocate her with co-dependence, among other things unrelated to her. His storyline became cyclic and fatigued viewers. Morgan was written to be so unlikable, self-hating and disgraceful, that when Craig announced he was leaving, many fans expressed hope the character would be killed. His death may have relieved the weary and opened the door for must-see cast performances, but it doesn't do GH any good in the long run. 

​The same figureheads can't lead the show forever, but those who are eligible (and the most logical options) to pass the baton to are eliminated or aren't being fostered. The shortage of young people is already an issue without the existing roles of Kristina Corinthos Davis, Molly Lansing Davis and T.J. Ashford, for example, being handled inconsequentially. Focus with this demographic is sporadic and intermittent, and personalities aren't designed to be the kind that can carry a series (ex. Morgan being a one-dimensional  loathsome pest). The middle cohort (ex. Maxie Jones, Lulu Spencer & Dante Falconeri) is equally small and pretty stationary in B/C-plot land. One of my friends said "Dante (Dominic Zamprogna) could be a leading man if they'd just let him." Some, such as Lucas Jones (Ryan Carnes), barely get screen time at all. His sister (Carly) just lost her son and his dad (Julian) literally got away with murder. Where is he? Unlike with rookies, sparking investment isn't a hurdle with these groups because many have ancestral ties. Give them something worthy and we will watch. After terrific scenes where siblings Kristina, Michael and Josslyn (Lexi Ainswoth, Chad Duell & Eden McCoy) grapple with the effects of Morgan's death, @JaSamFanX tweeted "Can we have more scenes with Michael, Kristina, Josslyn, Molly, & TJ? Maybe Avery too." I replied " No, because GH isn't investing in its future." They responded "I know and it's heartbreaking." It seems lately that romantic relationships take precedence over familial ones and friendships, but I digress. Killing Morgan reduced the younger cluster that much more and struck a branch of history, as he too had lineage (again, the sole offspring of a super-couple, and named after the pivotal Jason Morgan and Stone Cates). To make it worse, it wasn't even necessary. With Morgan off his medication, a hospitalization was right there; it would be completely rational and less deleterious. They would still get the Emmy reels and a chance to fiddle with 'KiLLon' (Kiki and Dillon Quartermaine; Morgan could just let her go). Depending on the events surrounding the hospitalization, they would still get their Corinthos Family strain. Also, it would give the writers time to redevelop Morgan as the prodigal son and turn him into the redoubtable man he should be.
 
With classic actors, GH relies too much on sentiment, versus blazing a spanking trail for them. Home-team veterans aren't secured, and doyens from other soaps (ex. Michelle Stafford and Rebecca Budig) are flailing about. The fantastic younger performers are underutilized and dealt with like obligations, while newbies are brought on in droves, only to be used as unsatisfying hors d'oeuvres. Where does that leave the audience who's been tuning in for so long? How will novice watchers be recruited or kept intrigued? What kind of position does that put the series in? The soap genre being in trouble as a whole, producers and writers appear to be uninspired and have gotten desperate, rolling between extremes and resorting to cheap tactics and short-term tricks. It's resulted in loss of sight and fast-food storytelling. A moment-to-moment approach is just digging the hole deeper. Daytime Confidential posted a great article in 2015 suggesting that if soaps would just read from their own blueprint, like the hit primetime drama Empire was, they might get back on their feet. OWN's The Haves and the Have Nots, CMT's Nashville and E!'s The Royals, to name a few, are all taking their cue from daytime drama. The future isn't in November sweeps, 1-day returns of beloved actors, trumped up events with no real payoff, or flashy names with no story. It starts with nourishing the talent you have in front of you and what comes out of the pen. 

Thoughts and observations of Port Charles happenings.
 
Julexis, The Davis Girls, Corinthos Clan & Jeromes
What Happened: Kristina (Lexi Ainsworth) tells Sam (Kelly Monaco) she was suspended from college for offering sex to a professor named Parker in exchange for a grade (1/18). Kristina questions her sexuality (3/16), as Parker is revealed to be a lesbian (1/19). Her parents find out about the suspension and confront her (3/17). When Kristina admits to Alexis (Nancy Lee Grahn) that she may not be heterosexual, she assumes Kristina was influenced by Parker and that her past with men is the root of her confusion (3/30). Molly (Haley Pullos) has sex with TJ (Tequan Richmond) off-camera on 2/12 after being taunted by Kristina for remaining a virgin and accused of being gay, and gets outed by Kristina before Alexis and Julian's wedding (2/19). Morgan (Bryan Craig) intentionally interrupts an enemy gun deal on Sonny's territory (2/22), where Kiki (Hayley Erin) is shot trying to shield him. When police show up, one of the ringleaders, Dixon, runs into the church and holds the wedding guests hostage (2/23). Dixon shoots Nathan and tries to kidnap Kristina before Sonny (Maurice Benard) jumps him; everyone sees he's no longer paralyzed (2/24). Morgan blames himself for Kiki's injury and nearly jumps off a building (2/26); Sonny and Carly decide to have him committed for thorough treatment of his bipolar disorder (3/4). Ava convinces Morgan to break up with Kiki for her own good (5/19), and Kiki's budding relationship with Dillon leads to a kiss (5/26). To save his and Ava's necks, Paul says Ava was a cohort for the gun bust. Julian (William Devry) rejoins the mob to protect Ava (Maura West) from the organized crime groups, who think she's a rat (1/7). Sonny teams up with Anna to bring Carlos to justice for killing Duke on Julian's orders (4/13). Julian enlists Alexis to defend Carlos (4/25). Julian snoops through Alexis' papers to locate and murder a prosecution witness (5/2), and later stabs Carlos (Jeffrey Vincent Parise) to death with the dagger Helena used to slit her mother's throat (5/12). She keeps Julian's bloody shirt and considers turning him in (5/17). Carly (Laura Wright) gets a hold of Ava's sex tape with Paul (Richard Burgi) and uses it to retain custody of Avery (5/25).
 
My Commentary: As it relates to diversity, GH has always been sadly behind the curve. Though we've seen more minority-race and LGB (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual) characters in recent years than in the last decade, most have been given back burner plots or used to prop others. Hopefully, Ainsworth being a popular actress and Kristina being the child of two major figures in GH history will mean the story of our first (possibly) bisexual female will gain the traction and attention it deserves (even though the last we saw on 4/27, she was going out with a guy. *Rolls eyes* They better not get chicken). It's been written extremely well so far, with detailed discussion about sexual development and usage of important terminology, such as "polysexual" and "queer" (3/23). When Parker visits Kristina, she argues that Kristina subconsciously fixated on her as opposed to another woman because she was essentially inaccessible--Parker is both married and her professor. The odds of them really being together were next to none; no realities to deal with (3/25). I said, "Ooh, psychology. Thoughtful." It appears that this isn't just about the sensationalism and drama of a hidden secret, and that the writers actually want to teach us something. Ainsworth superbly captures the fear, confusion and frequent deflection that comes with the journey of sexual identity. I was a crying mess with the suspension confrontation; she was using her entire body to emote, down to the point of visibly quivering.

​I cannot begin to express how much I hated the way Molly's "first time" was done. Molly has always been contemplative and not easily persuaded. This is a person who stands her ground. Yet, after a few juvenile jabs from her irresponsible big sister, she tells TJ her reasons for being chaste seemed "childish" suddenly. Do you remember what her reason was? A few weeks before, she had concerns about going down a long road of broken emotional commitments, as she observed from others that sex can change relationship dynamics. This was valid and mature, not childish. If she was going to have a change of heart, it should have happened gradually and not under pressure or from bullying. She also should've been the one to tell her family she lost her virginity; if it was going to be announced. When it came out, it was tacky, and all about Kristina's crude middle-school jokes and Alexis' devastation. Molly wasn't the focus—we haven't seen TJ since—and it's really a shame because this was an important moment for a character we've literally watched grow-up. Additionally irking me were repeat lines that had sex as an indicator of womanhood, and Molly saying she could "get into" using handcuffs—because going from a virgin to bondage is so realistic. The writers treated the whole thing like it was an item on a to-do list to be checked off.
 
As illogical and ridiculous it was for Dixon to start a hostage crisis instead of running away, it was so got darn entertaining. It was the most gasping and jumping I've gotten to do in forever. It didn't supersede the Metro Court one in 2007, but I'll take it. Thrilling action is so rare these days in PC. Also rare is a smoothly-completed wedding, so yay for letting 'Julexis' finish their vows at least before chaos ensued. The church decor was upgraded, there were underwater shots (a tied-up Lulu nearly drowned after a dealer waiting on Dixon threw her overboard the Haunted Star) and plenty of gun-fire. I tweeted "They spent money today!" It's appreciated when production goes an extra mile to give us some glitz, which is why I love the Nurses Ball (more on that later). I know it was part of the storyline, but it tickled me how there was a cop, a P.I., 3 mobsters, a serial killer and a prince with lethal DNA in the building and Dixon was up for so long. Sam killed me with her unbothered facial expressions, as Molly and Kristina quivered on the pew. Their new lily-livered step-daddy didn't do a thing to prevent Kristina from being taken: Alexis grabbed for her, Sam pretended to be her (Dixon wanted a Corinthos sire), and practically everyone—including Franco—made a gallant effort to neutralize Dixon while Jules just stood there and offered cash. It was cool to see Morgan be a boss, overwhelm the bad guys and not be a total screw-up, if only for a few minutes, haha. Carly having an "I'm tired of the violence!" fit and throwing guns into the harbor was so random and amusing (2/24). I was like, "Hun...you're contaminating a crime scene." Her best friend "died" and her son was in a coma after cross-fire, but someone else's kid getting hurt pushed her to edge? Girl, bye. I saw what the writers were trying to do, but it was ill-timed. Ava, on the other hand, didn't wait a single second to have an epiphany. She came to grips about her selfishness, was done with Paul, lost all sentiment for Morgan, and was no longer cavalier about having killed Connie (2/25). The dialogue about "sins of the father," how Kiki was innocent just like Connie, and her fearing that God wouldn't hear her prayers—superb scripting and a riveting performance from West. Craig did excellent work on 3/4, when Morgan begged his parents not to hospitalize him and Diane painfully looked on.
 
I was happy to see Julian acting like a big-brother and trying to protect Ava, but I should've known his nobility would be short lived. His self-serving cowardice has no boundaries. First, he asks Alexis to defend the man who murdered her friend, and is suspected of kidnapping Molly's boyfriend and shooting Kristina's father. Then, he uses her paperwork and Helena's dagger to kill two more people. The despicable cherry on top? He tries to mentally manipulate her by saying his actions were all about preserving their marriage, that she's just as dirty as he is and she could face accomplice charges. He had the audacity to say he loved her after this (I miss Grahn getting meaty material like this because she's always so incredible). It's okay though, because Alexis is about to hand him over to the po-po. It's about to get juicy (or so I hope; you know how these writers are with "bombshells")!! The scenes with Molly confronting Alexis about compromising her ethics (4/25; Pullos is so great) and Sam chastising Julian for putting her mother in this situation (5/2) were fantastic. Julian was so oblivious to (or just didn't care) how tortured Alexis was, he insisted she was fine, and then tried to psychologically play Sam: "I would think you would approve of your mother's loyalty to the man she loves, but haven't you shown that kind of loyalty to Jason?" Chile, you know Sam didn't fall for that, right?: "No, it's just the opposite. Jason has never asked me to go against who I am, and he never would...I thought my mother's happiness mattered to you." I love how assertive the Davis girls are and how they back each other (Kristina could be better at this). Molly could easily be the new Emily Quartermaine: she's super-intelligent, virtuous, good-hearted and outspoken. One last thing about Ava real quick...it seems that no matter how much time there is between LIPC's, I have to complain about an Avery custody battle and Ava being someone's bitch. Make it stop already! I've thrown up so much from watching Ava gravel to Sonny and Carly, my esophagus has deteriorated. Furthermore, it's just sickening to watch Carly take control and ownership of a child that is in no way hers. Is this how A.J. fans felt when Sonny took Michael??

Valerie, Dante, Lulu & Johnny
What Happened: In late 2015, an on-the-run Johnny Zacchara (Brandon Barash) asks Lulu (Emme Rylan) to hide him out for awhile on the Haunted Star. After hearing about Dante's dalliances with her cousin Valerie, he promises to get Valerie out of her hair and out of town. He initially plans to frame her (a new cadet) for drug trading, but when the cops get on his trail, he lures her to a cabin and ties her up in a panic (1/15). Valerie (Brytni Sarpy) knocks over a candle trying to get loose and a fire rages. Lulu's able to save her (1/18), but they get in a physical fight when she quickly estimates Lulu was somewhat involved (1/19). When apprehended, Johnny covers for Lulu and she isn't charged with any crimes. Dante (Dominic Zamprogna) tells Sonny he's unsure if he could forgive Lulu (1/23). Valerie says the incident was a wake-up call and tells Dante goodbye (1/26). Lulu and Dante sign divorce papers (2/1). Maxie and Nathan lock 'Lante' in a hotel room with a relationship manual on Valentine's Day, hoping they'll talk things out (2/15). They address issues they had before and agree to try counseling. Dante rescues Lulu from drowning (2/24).
 
My Commentary: Ooh honey, Dante doesn't deserve it, but I'm glad he and Lulu got back together because 1) he was taken out of character and 2) my pisstation was about to boil over. Dante slept with her cousin twice, and half-way started a relationship with her—this was the catalyst that got the catastrophic snowball rolling, yet, Lulu's behavior was unforgivable??! I hardly understood the choice to make Lulu the villain in her own story; it was preposterous. Her deeds were made to exceed Dante's, making him and Valerie the victims. She was disrespected and blamed for Dante's cheating in her own home, called a "self-centered, overly dramatic, stupid a** b*tch," and got slapped and whopped up on—all by her husband's mistress!! She couldn't even win the fight? Really?! Then, they had her begging for Valerie's forgiveness on 2/4 (and getting harshly rejected), when Valerie hadn't apologized once (and still hasn't)! Let's not forget all the pleading to Dante and scolding she received for trying to save her brothers' lives! Ugh! I was so heated. Further, almost all responsibility was taken off of Valerie with the constant insistence that 'Lante' had issues beforehand, and she was just a symptom. What were these phantom issues? These scribes act like we don't watch the show and don't know the history. 

JaSam, Liz, Nikolas and Hayden
What Happened: Little Jake starts drawing frightening pictures, including one of Sam. He begins seeing Franco for art therapy (1/20). When Sam visits Liz's house, she finds that Jake has deliberately broken a window and cut himself on the glass (she realizes he likely staged the break-in on 1/11 that he blamed her for). Sam falls and knocks herself unconscious, following Jake into the basement (1/29). Startled, Jake runs out into the street and is hit by a car (2/2). Sam wakes briefly and plugs in a space heater, which causes an electrical effect. Jason (Billy Miller) arrives and gets her out seconds before the house explodes (2/8). These events leave Liz to "hope it's enough punishment for playing God with the truth (i.e. Jason's identity)." She tells Jake that Sam is a good person, his dad's wife, they'd be together if not for her decisions, and she was wrong if she did anything to make him hate Sam (2/11). At Helena's will reading, Liz receives a creepy book with illustrative clues as to how Helena captured Jake, and Nikolas is left out totally (3/14). JaSam processes the divorce they initiated when they were tied to other people (during the Jason secret debacle; 3/22). Jason's motorcycle collides with a police transport; when he comes to, he has visions of Robin, Carly, Helena, Sam and Sonny coaching him through how to save Dante, who's pinned under the car (except for Hels, haha; 5/9). Afterward, he makes a beeline to Sam to tell her he has his memory back (5/10). Disputes over having children result in Franco and Nina breaking up (4/28). Franco's interest in Jake and persistent attempts to bond with Liz heighten (5/25).

Tracy (Jane Elliott) blackmails Hayden (Rebecca Budig) with her mysterious past to help her get ELQ back from Nikolas (1/8). Nikolas (Tyler Christopher) proposes to Hayden (1/25) and they have a Vegas wedding (2/3). When a man recognizes her on 2/4 and calls her "Rachel," Nikolas hires Sam to investigate her (2/18). With some internet-digging of her own, Liz (Rebecca Herbst) discovers that Hayden is Rachel Berlin, the daughter of an infamous finance criminal (a la Bernie Madoff; 3/24). Meanwhile, Tracy spills her collaboration with her to Jason and Sam in a post-surgery fog (3/26). HayChel threatens Nikolas with evidence he had her shot in the head to prevent him from divorcing her (4/4). Appalled that her cousin would have HayChel murdered to keep a company and Jason's identity under wraps, Sam attempts to call the police. They scuffle over the phone and Jason almost beats Nikolas to death (4/6). Rather than give Tracy her ELQ shares as negotiated, HayChel keeps them to avoid going broke (4/11). To outmaneuver her, Nikolas sells his shares to Jason, who says he'll otherwise out Nik to the authorities (4/12). An IRS inquiry makes Prince Nik financially vulnerable, causing him to sell Berlin diamonds Haychel shouldn't have, and sue Jason on the grounds that he purchased the shares with illegal funds (5/25). He prompts HayChel to come home via text and vows to make a truce. Jason makes it to Wyndemere before her, finds an empty castle, hears a window crash and sees Nik's body down on the rocks (5/26). The body is gone moments later when he and Sam (who came 7 minutes after Jason) make it outside. The commissioner figures the harbor current took him away and Jason pushed him (5/27).

My Commentary: Jake just came back to PC, okay? He barely knows his family members, much less Sam. Liz certainly didn't fill him in on her history with Sam or the fallout from the Jason secret, so not only did his anger and snarky backtalk towards Sam have no context, it was kind of a low blow to have a kid pitching in on the adult drama. The trailer for the basement episode was misleading. I thought it was about to get gritty—Jake would injure Sam and there would be a mental health arch—but I guess you can't have more than 1 character at a time suffering from a disorder? I was more than ready to move on from the (apparently mandatory) Liz vs. Sam war we must endure every few years, but I was very unsatisfied with the incomplete transition. Nikolas never paid for his role in the deceit. Sam was adamant and jumping at the chance to help him. She could've sat idly by and let HayChel rip ELQ (AKA her husband's family company) from him, but she was all "I must alert him!!" What the heck was that?! Spencer wasn't a strong enough motivation, in my opinion. Liz losing Jason and her home, along with her child getting hurt might have been sufficient punishment for her exploits (emphasis on "might;" I preferred public humiliation and a special, limited, platinum-deluxe edition read down from CarSam and Monica in addition) if she wasn't coddled every time she tried to really own her mistakes or was taken to task. When she realizes she hurt her kids by allowing them to invest in a future with Jason and how incomprehensible her lie was, Jason replies "Don't do this...It happened, it's done, Sam's moving on with her life (2/4)." She tries to analyze her parenting again, but Franco reassures her (2/8). The audience was denied Monica's point of view—you know, the woman whose children are all deceased—and when she finally expresses her feelings, Jason tells her to let it go! With the snap of a finger, Monica (Leslie Charleson) was telling Liz she was a great mother and then gave her credit for bringing Jason back!!!! "You helped bring him back to me and everybody else that's loves him (2/25)."What?!! She did anything but!! She methodically kept him from his life and family for her own purposes!! I wanted to flip a table, that line was so outrageous. It was bad enough there was no payoff in this major storyline without the apologist matter. No more year+ long plots if you don't know how to handle them!

​Anyhow, Rebecca Herbst is so underrated and totally deserved an Emmy nomination (at least a pre-nom) this past year. The delicate way in which she can convey so many emotions at once is a skill. On 2/9, for example, she precisely expressed shock (for Jake's situation), relief (that he didn't try to kill Sam), parental and personal heartache (guilt for her part with Jake and seeing 'JaSam' reconnect). Given Herbst's talent, it's agitating that anytime the writers make reconstructive or redemptive progress with Liz, they backpedal or put her in another degrading situation. I'm not sure what's worse: Franco being paired with Carly or Elizabeth. I understand they have to integrate him into the show some way (which I think is next to impossible), but like Carly, Liz's child was harmed by him. It's hard to make it feel right and sensible. Why does he have to be paired with anyone? Hell, why can't Liz get a breather herself? I know the old slogan used to be "Love in the Afternoon" and couplings are arguably the heart (no pun intended) of soaps, but that isn't the only way to keep a character active or interesting. The focus is more on building matches, than characters or good stories. This brings me to Hayden and Nikolas...'HayNik' had hot sex scenes and humorous banter at first, but after the assassination attempt, it just wasn't buyable. Any declarations of love sounded asinine, not just for the violence, but because they hardly know each other. When you remember that Hayden knows Shawn in sitting in prison for her shooting and she's done nothing about it, it's really absurd. In totality, it's no surprise though; Nikolas hasn't had proper development or explained motives in ages. This entire thing has felt haphazard and goalless from the start, like they're just winging it. They brought a fan favorite (Budig) back to soaps for this?

Before I close out on this bunch, I have three pounds of beef with the 'JaSam' reunion, believe it or not. Pound 1: Because the Nik/Liz-lie was stretched out for so long, it eliminated the opportunity for Jason and Sam's renewal to adequately simmer. When they finally got together, it honestly felt fast-food and like a rebound.
Pound 2: Jason retrieving his memories is a big deal, right? There was a hash-tag (#JasonRemembers) and two dedicated episodes, but it was anti-climatic as hell. Jason found Sam after the wreck, told her he remembered, they kissed and the credits rolled. We didn't see them again until a week later, and they discussed it like they were going over the grocery list. Subsequent scenes with Monica, Carly and Michael were slightly more sentimental, but mainly because Wright can transmit emotion no matter what's printed on the page (5/17). The conversation with Sonny on 5/18 was flat-out forgettable. Sam has been looking into Jason's eyes, feeling every tinge of their history, knowing he was incapable of doing the same. He was alive and in her arms, but there was still an emptiness. When Jake was presumed dead, Jason wasn't raising him and carried guilt about it. The last time he saw Danny, Jason had just rescued him from a kidnapper (Heather Webber), reconciled with Sam, and thought Danny was the product of a rape—he didn't know Danny was his son. I pictured tear-jerking scenes where he'd take Sam into his arms (she'd be confused at the sudden movement) and go on a poetic tangent about what she means to him, with intricate details about their relationship. Her face would be wet and he'd be holding onto her for dear life because he'd recall what he had to go through to get back to her from Helena...and what he was kept from her for months. He'd gaze into his children's eyes, overwhelmed by the amazing 2nd chance he's received. The cup would runneth over with love and elation. You know, poignancy. The dryness may be why (and I hate to say this) it doesn't feel like Jason. Maybe I should be patient and the vibe will be different since he remembers now.

Pound 3: Let's talk about the misapplication of "Run to me" and misuse of the "Just You & Me" theme song. While Sam was in the basement, she had hallucinations of Jason saying "Run to me, Sam." This phrase became emblematic in 2006, when Jason reenacted the night Sam was shot by an enemy to deter her from being with him. Although this was a pivotal moment, it wasn't one of heroism, sweetness or safety, as implied in her mirage. In the ER, Sam accurately explains the meaning in the outset, but eventually says "You knew we belonged together, and that's why you said 'run to me' and I did." What? That statement could've been for amnesia-Jason's benefit, but I think it was another case of the writers using nostalgia to do the heavy lifting. Instead of forming scenes to be truly touching, atmospheric and/or saluting to the past, they just throw references around and hope the viewers will get sappy over it. Which is why "Just You & Me" is played whether JaSam is making love or taking out the trash. Hearing the tune unnecessarily is better than not at all, I suppose. It was an act of the daytime gods that their love scene on 4/6 was authentically romantic and steamy. The way Sam embraced and kept looking at Jason like he could disappear at any minute moved me. Monaco got it across that for Sam, it was still like a fragile dream that Jason was in her presence and she was fearful. Having the fight with Nikolas as the lead in was a little....um...strange, for lack of a better term, but chivalry and danger have always been a 'JaSam' aphrodisiac, haha. Oh, and before I forget, Jason returning ELQ to his family, and Tracy actually giving him props for it made my eyes well up (4/14): "When you rejected the Quartermaine name and you turned your back on the family, you broke your grandfather's heart, and I'm not sure he ever really got over that...but I am fairly certain that at this exact moment, he's smiling at you."
 
Other Notes
Tracy, Paul, Anna, Jordan & Andre: I have lots of "why's" here. Trying to match Anna (Finola Hughes) with Sloane was disastrous, so why did the writers think a reincarnation with Paul (Richard Burgi) would be a good idea? They ruined his villain potential (and a plot) trying to clean him up just enough to make him feasible for Anna. He went from being a shady D.A. who was cunningly edging out mobsters and knocking people off, to just an undercover arms investigator who committed murder in defense of his child (2/18). We saw him shoot Sonny and nothing was presented to refute this, but it kept being said Carlos did it (even by Carlos himself!). They really don't think we watch this show, do they??! Bizarre. The person who shot Sonny also had TJ kidnapped by goons who didn't know who they worked for. Carlos didn't have a squad! He was a Jerome henchman! This individual also kept blowing up Corinthos shipments; Carlos didn't do all that! Explain that, dang it! Explain that! Also, if Paul's hands are so spotless, why is he still blackmailing Ava?! What does he need her for?! Ugh. They don't know what the hell they want to do. Why is Carlos dead again (5/12)?! Duke, A.J., Carlos; I'm tired of them reviving characters people enjoy—those who shouldn't have died in the 1st place—just to kill them again shortly after. I love Carlos' sarcastic, handsome self. He brought a certain level of personality and pizzazz that's missing in PC. I really wish the writers had committed just once to Carlos and Sabrina having a relationship.

An Anna Devane attempted murder trial was an intriguing concept. Why was it thrown away?! I wondered the same thing about Tracy's medical crisis. I thought Elliot was finally going to get an absorbing, Emmy-worthy story, and Tracy would battle a life-threatening, debilitating illness (because heaven knows she'd rock it), not a silly brain virus that's cured with 1 procedure (3/21). This time last year, I was living for Jordan (Vinessa Antoine). She was a kick-butt secret DEA agent with an unsavory personal past, trying to make amends with her son. Her chemistry with hitman Shawn Butler was sizzling (Oh, how I miss that coupling). Now, she's an ineffective police commissioner who harasses innocent parties, like Sabrina (Teresa Castillo) to make up for her failings and acts like an insecure, jealous, petty, always-pissy schoolgirl with sweet, cuddly Andre (Anthony Montgomery) because of his friendship with Anna. I can't believe they have this grown woman being jealous of her friend! Her consistent agitated demeanor debatably feeds into the "angry black woman" narrative, which is a problem. I'm here for Anna and Andre getting together, so bring on the fulfilling prophecy!

​Hamilton Finn, Griffin Munro & Naxie: When a series is entitled General Hospital, but most of the characters aren't medical staff, that's a conflict, so it's always nice when new ones are added to help get back to the origins. Michael Easton's still playing a semi-introverted, brooding figure, but Dr. Hamilton Finn is much more exciting than the others. He's a tad eccentric and brassy, funny, and has a mysterious ailment. Dr. Griffin Munro (Matt Cohen) is adorable, boyishly-handsome and tranquil, but I gotta say I'm not too fascinated by him being Duke's long-lost son (3/15), a priest and "the other man" Nathan shot during a drunken stupor when he was caught in bed with Nathan's wife. I thought that bullet wound was going to lead to something more spooky and shocking. I know it's about tension and drama, but having Maxie (Kirsten Storms) react so strongly and judgmentally to Nathan's (Ryan Paevey) previous green-card marriage (3/14) and accidental shooting is inane, given her transgressions.
 
The Scrubs Wedding, Boob-Gate, Helena's Will Reading & Nurses Ball 2016: Time constraints forced a rushed rapprochement and quickie wedding for Patrick and Robin, but it was beautiful and their exit was wrapped with a pretty bow. No cliffhangers, no unexplained or over-the-top happenings, just love and great montages (1/7). "Boob-gate," where Olivia (Lisa LoCicero) fought to openly breastfeed her child in court was fun. It will probably be the only time half the female cast will flash their breasts all at once and not for a sex scene (3/21). It's such a delight when the deliciously diabolical Queen of Read-Downs Helena Cassadine (Constance Towers) is on my screen. I thoroughly enjoyed her getting to morbidly perplex, terrify and insult all her favorite Port Charles residents once more through her video will. It's a shame her bequeaths haven't come to much. Liz doesn't have any more answers about Jake's whereabouts within the last few years. Nikolas not receiving a penny doesn't affect him because he put Hels in exile. Lulu was praised for having helped her the most (inadvertently of course) and was told her gift to come might fulfill her when her life was "empty," but there's been no follow-up. I suspect a baby with Stravos is somewhere. Laura (Genie Francis) received weird clues to something "she's loved and lost," but so far, it took her back to the club where Luke raped her. Nothing more. I hope it gets better than this, but again, you know what tends to happen. I look forward to the Nurses Ball every year (5/24). I love the glam, the cheesy lip-synced performances, Magic Milo and his Magic Wands, and the surprises. Best dressed goes to Kiki Jerome; Haley Erin was stunning in her figure-hugging, sparkling, dreamy blue Jovani gown. The acts were a little underwhelming this go-round; Ned and Emma easily won for being cute. Fun staples, like Lucy's dress falling and Obrecht crashing the party, were out. Why didn't I get a Felix and Sabrina reunion?? I love bestie stuff. No big surprises this year. Someone's been killing patients at General Hospital and making it look natural, but no rabbits came out of hats. I'm glad both Lucas and Bobbie—legacy characters—are still alive; I was about to riot. The best part of the ball to me was Carly and Ava throwing down in the bathroom (5/25). I died when Ava didn't say anything when Carly goaded her, and she just took off her jewelry and heels. I said " YASS! Come through Hood Ava!"
 
Whew, after all that, I may just need wine for lunch. 

Ava, Morgan & Kiki, Who Killed Silas?
What happened: Silas (Michael Easton) was murdered (7/31) before he could tell Kiki (Hayley Erin) that her mother, Ava (Maura West), was alive, disguising herself as a long-lost aunt (Denise Demuccio) and sleeping with her boyfriend, Morgan (Bryan Craig). Scotty grilled Ava as a suspect during the subsequent trial and she blew her cover (8/24). Madeline Reeves turned out to be the real killer; she wanted to forge Silas' signature to have access to Nina's (Slias' ex-wife) money (8/31). Kiki swore Morgan and Ava off once she learned the whole truth from Franco (Roger Howarth; 9/1). Scotty became Ava's lawyer and got her off for killing Connie, having the 1 shred of evidence in his possession: a recorded confession (9/16). The recording was stolen by new district attorney Paul Hornsby (Richard Burgi), who wanted to use Ava as the face of his mob ring while he tries to dismantle Sonny's organization (9/22). Ava finally regained custody of her daughter, Avery, by goading Sonny into threatening her and taping it for the judge to hear (11/10). Nina and Franco moved into Silas' apartment to look after an alcoholic Kiki, who later ran Carly off the road in a druken stupor (11/3); Carly dropped the charges (11/24). Michael and Carly had an intervention with Morgan (11/23) to get him treatment for bipolar disorder, of which he showed signs starting on 9/2. 
​
​My commentary: I love a good "who dun it?" murder mystery and a Friday cliffhanger! The clues were well-placed and properly misleading (Morgan, Ava and Nina were all at scene and had motive; the Madeline factor was introduced later), and the investigation and trial didn't go on for too long. 1 of the stand-out moments was when Nina (Michelle Stafford) left for Silas' apartment in a rage after learning he let her stand accused of kidnapping Avery to keep up Ava's 'Denise' rouse. "Once again, he's chosen Ava over me!," she yelled (7/31). The lines were great and I enjoy watching Stafford's 'heat to an exploding boil' anger work. Hell must have frozen over on 8/4, because I felt sorry for Franco when got pegged as the killer in trying to protect Nina. Around this time, there was a lot of excellent dialogue about Ava's flaws and desires (ex. when Silas' ghost haunted her on 8/12); character psychology is a rarity. West rocks everything given to her; she's so emotionally animalistic and convincing. It's awful and ridiculous, for example, that a grown woman would weep like a teenager over her daughter's boyfriend (8/28), but West will break your heart, make you sympathize and...get hot and bothered over it. Ava was speaking to Morgan from behind jail bars, but fogged up the place reminding him of their chemistry (8/27): "...the way I touched you, my breath on your neck, the way I bit your lip when we kissed...you know my body blindfolded and I know yours just the same." Which writer was responsible for that erotica, haha? Kiki finding out that her mom wasn't dead should've been stimulating, but it was underwhelming. The Denise thing was fun at first, but I was glad when it was over. I like that Ava's in a position to be a mob queen again and has a new love interest, but I don't like that it's all at the mercy of a man who's stepping on her neck. I want her to finally be in complete control. It's backwards to me that she sleeping with Paul. It was fun to see her back in action at the 5 families meeting on 9/28 and put little Michael, who's always trying to sit at the big boy table, in his place. As for this custody business, I'm sick of Avery being bounced around and fought over. I'm also sick of it being painted like Sonny is Ava's victim and she's uncompromising, as if the baby wasn't literally ripped and kept from her since birth. I love Carly, but I clapped when she called herself Avery's mother and Ava snapped " You're not her mother...bitch (9/24)."

I can appreciate the effort to give Kiki and Morgan independent storylines with gritty topics like substance abuse and mental health, but I failed to get invested. There wasn't anything particularly touching or compelling about it, especially when it was plot-driven. Kiki nearly killing Carly was clearly just to cause a 'LiAson' (Liz and Jason) wedding delay because there were no repercussions. Carly shrugged at it and let her off the hook. Why doesn't she hate Kiki? The girl caused division between her sons and left her in a ditch, but Carly practically breastfeeds her. Also, I get that Kiki has a small social pool and subsequently can't hate everyone when warranted, but it bothered me that she could forgive/befriend Morgan, but rejected her mother. 

​Lulu, Dante, Valerie & Dillon
What happened: Dillon's film assistant accidentally taped him and Valerie admitting their respective feelings for Lulu and Dante, more importantly that Valerie had sex with Dante (10/2). Knowing the truth, Dillon kisses Lulu and insists he's better for her than Dante (10/9). At the Haunted Star Halloween party, Dillon finds the videoed confessional and plays it instead of the trailer for his movie, pretending (not very well, might I add) it was a fluke (11/2). Lulu gave Dante separation papers; thinking his marriage was unsalvageable, he slept with Valerie again and started a vague relationship with her (11/25).
 
​My commentary: The wimpy, nerdy, yellow-bellied characterization of Dillon (recast Robert Palmer Watkins) deflated any joy I had about having an old Quartermaine back. The wuss-ness hit all-time high when he deliberately broke Valerie's confidence and publicly humiliated Lulu for his own gain, which actually profited him nothing (*Nelson from The Simpsons voice* Ha ha!). On top of that, his method was so disgusting, cowardly and under-handed. How Dillon 2.0's demeanor was shaped kept it from seeming believable that he'd have a chance or could be with Lulu (Emme Rylan). It appears the writers have noticed this and abandoned that ship, but it wasn't for lack of effort. They kept trying to make it sound like Dillon was Johnny. There was all this innuendo about how Lulu lost herself in domestication (8/25) and how they missed their chance together, as if they had this great love and Dillon was the key to reigniting her wildfires. Nope, that's Johnny. Dillon was never that hard up about, connected to or infatuated Lulu. In fact, considering their history-which includes being deceived into unknowingly cheating on the real love of his life, Georgie Jones- it's ridiculous that Dillon would be so obsessed with Lulu now. Dillon wasn't the only guy in this mix to have a personality reinvention. Dante (Dominic Zampronga) has been trashed. Him sleeping with Valerie while drunk and thinking his wife cheated is 1 thing, but doing it again? On a near-happenstance whim? Then, saying to Lulu "How long was I supposed to wait for you [to come around]" as if the separation papers weren't less than 24 hours old and he's the victim instead of her? Speaking disrespectfully to his mother in Valerie's defense (12/10)? Letting Valerie blast Lulu in her own house (11/25)? Not Dante-like at all; this isn't how the character would react in this situation. He's been such an obnoxious douche-bag. Additionally, his emotional shifts were too sudden; quickly having frigid detachment from Lulu, and  profound "when I look into your eyes I feel..." affection for Valerie (12/23). It's really off when we know Dante's love for and heartache over Lulu is what caused his initial transgression, not an attraction to Valerie. When Dante's cat was finally let out of the bag on Halloween, it was kind of a dud. I wasn't clutching my chest. Perhaps it was because the scenes were so chopped up and spread out. I wonder what's next for Valerie (Brytni Sarpy) after all of this because they've made Dante her entire story and she isn't in a likable position.

​Hayden, Nikolas, Liz, Jason, Sam, Patrick & Robin
What happened: Hayden (Rebecca Budig) woke up from her post-shot-in-the-head coma, lying that she didn't remember her past or recent present (8/3). Nikolas (Tyler Christopher) resumed her Wyndemere residency as a precaution. Jason proposed to Liz (8/14); Patrick proposed to Sam a month later (9/18). Spinelli did a reverse facial composite to see what Jason's face looked like pre-surgery, confirming his identity (11/2). Carly (Laura Wright) had a DNA test done to make sure Spinelli's results weren't flawed. Shortly before his wedding, Jason rescued Carly from her car crash and she showed him the tests. Jason (Billy Miller) tells everyone at the church the news and cancels the ceremony, despite Liz's insistence that they go through with it (11/9). Jason goes to Cassadine Island to get answers from Helena, but she supposedly dies (11/23). At Patrick's urging, Sam files for a divorce from Jason (12/1). Sam (Kelly Monaco) hears Little Jake tell Danny that Liz and Laura have a secret about Jason (11/25). An uneasy confrontation with Laura (Genie Francis) confirms her suspicion that Liz (Rebecca Herbst) knew Jason's identity (12/1). After Jason walks in on Sam cornering Liz about it (12/7), he questions Liz himself and she confesses (12/9). Jason moves out of Liz's house. Conceding to his feeling that Sam's heart still belongs to Jason, Patrick breaks up with her on 12/10 (though they repeatedly say it's mutual). Nikolas starts an altercation with Jason at the Metro Court and he accidentally falls over the terrace (12/22). Hayden tells police that Jason purposely pushed Nikolas with intent to kill. Patrick (Jason Thompson) realizes that Robin's (Kimberly McCullough) been held hostage all this time and rescues her from Jerry Jax with Anna and Robert (12/22). The pair reunites.

My commentary: When I heard that Thompson was leaving GH, I was sad for 3 reasons: 1) He's an incredible actor, 2) I was worried Emma (Brooklyn Rae Silzer) would be leaving with Patrick and 3) I wanted to see a fair fight between Patrick and Jason, and Sam work through/to a decision (we haven't had a memorable triangle with a female center in a while)...or so I thought. Patrick's periodic chastising of Sam for her edgy nature (I loved her "Do you want to hear what actually happened, or do you just want be preemptively furious?" line when he fussed at her for going to give Jason backup in Sonny's shooting on 9/11) was annoying, but he was intolerable once his Jason jealousy was in full swing after the LiAson non-wedding. I no longer wanted to see a royal rumble. Given Patrick's own 'back-from-the-dead spouse' experience, he should've been patient and understanding, but he was impetuous, pushy, insensitive and constantly questioned Sam's loyalty. On 11/16, he asked "Does it matter to you that we're engaged?" He kissed Robin on sight when he was minutes away from marrying Sabrina in 2013, but he had the nerve to doubt Sam when she stayed put and kept reassuring him. He demandingly expected her to swiftly process her feelings, but he asked Robin and Sabrina to give him time. Anyway, I really liked how their breakup was done; it wasn't gory or anger-filled. I thought it was a terrific and interesting choice to make Emma's point of view focal. That little girl has been through a lot-and many girlfriends- in 3 years. It says a lot about how accelerated and ill-seasoned relationships are on GH; 'Samtrick' (Sam and Patrick) started dating, moved in, got engaged and split in a year. Monaco spoke to this issue in a January 2015 interview with Michael Fairman. Moving on, my only irritation with the 'Scrubs' (Patrick and Robin) reunion was that Patrick expressed his regret over mistreating Robin to everyone but her, meanwhile, she incessantly apologized to him when she did nothing wrong.

​Ok, let's get to the Jason/Liz reveals. The Jason reveal was moderately gratifying, while the Liz one was just a little. It was a huge relief that Jason finally knew who he was. The script was good; there were several lines and moments I personally enjoyed. For instance, I hate that Liz is continually written as desperate and delusional, but if you're going to do it, sell it. From "I believe Jake knew too!" as a covering counter to Sam mentioning Danny's draw to Jason, to her pleading with Jason to complete the nuptials as if it would be legally valid, the coo-coo for Coco Puffs was thoroughly illustrated. Carly's interjections, like "your time playing house with Jake Doe is over...For god's sake, Elizabeth, you can't marry Jason; he's married to Sam!," are what we love her for. Regardless of Liz standing in her bridal gown and likely being emotional, Carly blocked her path to Jason and said "Could you give them (Jason and Sam) a minute?" My stomach hurt from laughing. Speaking of such, Nikolas maniacally laughing while in Jason's headlock was gold. It's like the higher the stakes, the less he cares. I'm obsessed with the 'Dark Prince' era. I just wish his motives were better developed; they're kind of paper thin. Patrick and Sam's interactions were intricately done, as he ebbed and flowed between being supportive and fighting for the woman he loves. You wondered if him reiterating that things wouldn't be the same with Jason was him sharing personal wisdom or trying to persuade Sam away. Lastly, my feels always go into overdrive when I see Carly and Sam drop beef and console each other (#CarSam!). Even with all these positives and quality acting, something was still missing. It wasn't harrowing. Everyone in the room had a horse in the race, but only Sam seemed deeply affected and devastated (kudos to Monaco for her performance, by the way). As opposed to sad, shocked and/or confused, Jason came off angry more than anything else. This continued for over a month, as he icily brushed off most of his loved ones...and it was freaking aggravating. Some might say "Well, this is how he was with the first brain injury," but there are significant differences this go round. Jason had frequent flashbacks while he built relationships with the folks who just so happened to be close to him. Yet, reactions from decades ago were recycled and the script was stuffed with inconsistencies. Jason kept saying he "didn't feel" or remember a thing, but there were dozens of recollections, including a vivid hallucination of Robin. He recognized faces without knowing why. He diligently searched to find out who he was and heard nothing but good things about himself, but suddenly he wasn't interested in details and was determined to believe that Jason Morgan was a terrible person. It made sense for him to struggle with his new reality, but it should've been played as 'heartfelt and discombobulated' versus 'cold and fuming.' It didn't formally ease up until Jason gave a much needed redress to Sam for being a jerk and acknowledged her faithfulness, even before she knew who he was (12/21). I adored that conversation for obvious reasons, but also because they had an endearing, amicable conversation about their dynamic: "I don't think I would call it just friendship...do we have to call it anything? Can we just be here...together?," Jason inquired. This reminds me; I lived for the clip after the wedding where Sam delivered Jason's motorcycle and told him he could visit Danny whenever. It was so them and she was giving him space. It was also kind of sexy: "A lot of things are yours, Jason," she said leather-clad with tussled hair. Moist. 

The only thing satisfying about the Liz reveal was that Jason got her together and left (best line: "The woman I love is no more real than Jake Doe"). Other than that, it was like bad sex when you're hormones are through the roof. Why? It's simple: there was no public humiliation or endless string of consequences. Liz's lie was long-held.Shameful. Contemptible. It had overreaching effects- including to her best friends, Robin and Patrick. Not to mention the originator of this deceit, Nikolas, betrayed his cousin (Sam) and could possibly face-jail time for fraud or some other corporate violation (he hid Jason's ipseity to filch ELQ). This plot deserved to unravel and annihilate like the tornado it was, with Emmy opportunities for all (the best reels are when people are going off or bawling). I can just envision Carly and Sam foaming at mouth and ripping into Liz (Wright would've slayed). It should have been a group effort, but it was an intimate and fairly quiet release, unworthy of the "walls of Jericho" setup and moment we waited months for. Liz didn't slip up or was yanked out of the closet; she was outed from Sam's mere guesstimation. There still hasn't been an investigation to affirm Nikolas' guilt. Where's the hunt for proof to throw him under the jail?! Though this likely had to do their forthcoming exit,  Robin and Patrick failed to hold Liz accountable. Robin risked her life and sacrificed her marriage to save Jason and return him to his family, and Liz obstructed that. Patrick and Emma invested in someone who'd ultimately be unavailable. Then Liz arrogantly told Robin that she'd do it all again (12/28). Nikolas is chilling like a polar bear, and the worst Liz got was a level 1 tongue lashing from Carly (12/15). Where was this massive fallout the 2 of them were afraid of? If the new writers (Jean Passanate and Shelly Altman) wanted to be unorthodox in their inaugural months, this wasn't the time. Stylistically, the Dante and Liz bombs should've been switched. I think a 1-to-1 was more appropriate for 'Lante' (Lulu and Dante), a couple built out of sincerity, reeling from a train-rush of events. A quick note about Hayden: she's been super-confusing lately. She's pretty sure Nikolas had her shot in the head (11/19), yet, she was so worried that he fell to his death. She owes Jason everything and saw what actually happened on the terrace, but adamantly accused him of attempted murder. Um...okay.
 
Anna, Sonny, Michael & Sabrina
What happened: Sonny's (Maurice Benard) shipments kept being mysteriously hijacked or destroyed. At a meeting with the 5 mafia families of PC, he unsuccessfully threw his weight around to scare the culprit out of hiding (8/5).To lure Sonny to a vulnerable spot, Paul (the hijacker) had TJ (Tequan Richmond) kidnapped (9/3). From a hidden corner, Paul shoots Sonny just hours before his wedding to Carly (9/4). Jason overhears the bullets, takes out the captors and helps get Sonny to the hospital (9/8). Post-op, a blood clot in his brain requires another surgery, which results in paralysis (10/6). Ric (Rick Hearst) is pushed out of going to the next meeting by Michael (Chad Duell), who tries to take up Sonny's affairs (9/25). Ava names Carlos as Sonny's shooter, who Anna claimed was on the run (9/28). The 'CarSon' (Sonny and Carly) wedding finally happens on 10/14. After months of physical therapy, Sonny has some movement in his leg (12/30). Frustrated with how he can't keep Anna's affections and do Nikolas' dirty work, Sloane acts out and gives Paul all the evidence that Anna shot Carlos (9/29). Anna (Finola Hughes) thinks Carlos died, but somehow, he survived (11/24). To deter police from hunting for Carlos and Sloane from interfering with his plans, Paul plants an unidentifiable body and kills Sloane (10/14, 9/29). Paul dangles Carlos in front of Anna, which sparks her suspicions about his intentions. She digs and finds that Sloane is dead and the body was likely faked (12/4). Tests verify that Sabrina (Teresa Castillo) is pregnant (10/8), but the baby is Carlos'. Michael breaks up with Sabrina (12/28) after realizing she wittingly hid the paternity (12/22).
 
My commentary:  The cast did an extraordinary job in the episodes surrounding Sonny's shooting. The emotional leveling was just right and there was an apposite blend of angst and mush. At times, however, reasonable sentiment teetered on Sonny-whitewashing schmaltz. Michael immediately went into Corinthos-heir mode. He was giving guards instructions and talking with mob heads like he never despised Sonny with ever fiber of his being. This, coupled with the random cautionary warnings Sabrina received from people like Lulu and Maxie (who has no connection; 9/9), made me think his dark side would be the reason for their split and Castillo's inevitable exit (2nd maternity leave). Alternatively, the writers took the unimaginative route and scribed in her pregnancy. Again. I wanted to beat my head against the wall. Michael's too young for a kid, it was too early in their relationship, and Sabrina lost a baby just last year. If their network-cousin, Scandal, could successfully hide lead actress Kerry Washington's pregnancy, GH could've pulled something off easily. The consolation prize was that we got the hilarious and devilishly handsome Carlos (Jeffrey Vincent Parise) back and Anna doesn't have to go to prison for murder. 

I'm so glad they got rid of Sloane. He was a pestering punk every time he got rejected. I think it was apparent that he wasn't working, so it isn't surprising he got axed. He totally lost me when he blamed Nikolas for losing Anna (9/11). That was so sappy and stupid. I don't think I have to explain what a pleasure it is to watch Hughes, mind you. Anna's restlessness, anguish and self-conflict comes breaking through the screen. I loved her therapy scenes in November with the new hot doc, Andre Maddox (Anthony Montgomery), and her face-off with Sloane over her complicated relationship with Duke on 9/9. That same day, just as bride-to-be Carly was excitedly talking about the future, Jason walked into Sonny's house covered in his blood and informed everyone he was shot. Such an intense and great all around airing. I was pouting because I thought I wouldn't get to see the 5th CarSon ceremony, but it was one those cases of "What's in store is better than the current." Kristina (Lexi Ainsworth) and Josslyn (aged recast Eden McCoy) were present and Carly's dress was upgraded (that blue number was not the business). It was a treat for CarSon fans; it was romantic, beautiful, full of Corinthos sibling feels and topped with crime (i.e. the announcement of Carlos' 'death;' Castillo did excellent work). On that note, it always tickles me when they do little mafia things like meetings and you actually see Sonny bust a cap. It happens so rarely. I have to say, I got a thrill when Sonny acted like he was going to leave the room and let this Russian gangster have the last, smart aleck word before popping him, haha.
 
Some final remarks on this bunch: it's about time they brought Lexi Ainsworth back to resume her role as Kristina. It's so nice to see Alexis with all 3 of her daughters. Hopefully, this school suspension storyline will lead to something awesome for the character. Was I the only 1 ticked off at how Ric was treated at the hospital? I know he was Taylor Swift and had really bad blood with Sonny and Carly, but things have been on the upside. I was happy when he stood up for himself, reminding Carly and Michael of how he had more familial pull than they did (9/10). I wish the writers would've thought to get Molly (Haley Pullos) in on that. It would've been incredible to watch her stand up for her father against cousin Morgan, who got physically rough with Ric . They don't do enough with her Corinthos connections. She didn't visit Sonny once on-camera.
 
Other Notes
Julian & Alexis: I love that Olivia (Lisa LoCicero) keeps rattling Alexis' (Nancy Lee Grahn) cage; it's comic relief. It's a huge problem to me that Julian has no remorse for having Duke killed and doesn't seem to think he should suffer or be punished for it. With any luck, Anna will at last have some sort of justice. Julian's never paid for his crimes against Anna and Duke. It's equally irking that Alexis is so unbothered as well. I know she's still with Julian because the audience loves them, but I can't get over her supposedly being anti-mob and looking the other way, knowing what he's done to both Duke and Ric, her daughter's father. It's laughable that she and Julian both don't want Jason (a hitman) and Sam to reunite, when Julian's done more harm to her family than Jason ever has to his own (12/11). Morgan taunting Alexis about her relationship with him, while having the pair at gun point, was quite funny I must say (9/22). Among their story highlights, Julian found out that his child with Olivia was indeed alive (10/21) and he proposed to Alexis (12/20).
 
Brad & Rosalie: Rosalie's ( Linda Elena Tovar) looming, earth-shattering secret-or at least part of it anyway- was that she married Brad (Parry Shen) to avoid testifying in a trial that we have yet to hear more about since it came out in August. Did the writers forget about that or nah?
 
I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season! If not, here's to this year being better than the last!

Thoughts and observations of Port Charles happenings.

Guys, I'm trying a new format this time; please let me know what you think of it! :)

The Spencer Clan
What Happened: Luke's long-lost sister, Patricia (Dee Wallace), told Bobbie and Tracy that his mental breakdown was likely the result of repressed memories of murdering his parents, Lena and Tim, as a teen (4/1). Luke (Anthony Geary) fatally hit Lena in the head with a bat on accident, trying to guard her from the abusive Tim (Bobbie was too young to remember this). When Tim berated a devastated Luke after a hospital call confirming Lena's death, Luke snapped and struck him dead. Patricia and Bill Eckert covered up any remnants of the event, and she sent Luke and Bobbie (Jackie Zeman) to live with their Aunt Ruby. After this was explained, Patricia, who was already ailing from multiple sclerosis, presumably died from shock (Luke bound and gagged her) and Luke was sent to a psychiatric hospital. Patricia's daughter, Valerie, who was also attacked, nearly slit Luke's throat for revenge (4/8). Later, Luke is cleared for release by a doctor. Laura (Genie Francis) returns to town and alerts Luke that Lucky and Ethan have been kidnapped by Frank Smith and they're commanded to tell no one (6/15). Lulu and Dillon find out and demand to help in the rescue. Tracy is led to believe that Luke dumped her for Laura (6/9) and Dante (Dominic Zampronga) is told Lulu is visiting her grandmother. Dante assumes Lulu and Dillon (Emme Rylan, Robert Palmer Watkins) are having an affair when he discovers she actually booked a hotel room with her ex-lover (6/30). Dante kisses Valerie on 2 separate occasions and they ultimately have sex (7/6). When he learns the truth, he only cops to kissing Valerie (Brytni Sarpy) and makes her vow to keep the rest quiet. Tracy (Jane Elliott) feels that Luke doesn't see her as an equal and he needs time to heal from his childhood revelations; they agree  to separate (7/21). Lucky (Jonathan Jackson) finds that Helena Cassadine has had his adopted son, Jake, on Cassadine Island since 2011, when he was thought to have died after a freak accident where Luke hit him with his car (7/6).

My Commentary: The multi-episode flashback arch revealing Luke's parricide was beautifully done and directed, and a sight for sore eyes with continual, in-depth storytelling. It had my heart and caught my tears. It was a sweet thrill to see Laura Wright (who portrays Luke's niece, Carly) as Lena, and Jason Thompson and Rebecca Herbst as GH genesis characters, Dr. Steven Hardy and Nurse Jessie Brewer. The arch was great independently, but within context of the "Fluke" storyline, it still left a lot unexplained. Why break now, after all these years? If the drugs Heather's Miscavige men gave him caused the memory to come back, why would it bring out an evil side? The deaths didn't happen callously. The implication is that Luke is inherently evil, but he assumingly showed no symptoms of this before the trauma. Most of all, this incident doesn't explain the inclination towards womanizing and sexual assault (in addition to raping Laura, Luke attempted to do the same to Kiki and threatened Julian with it against Sam), or logistical details, like being in WSB custody with Julian Jerome. I did like how the writers connected the parricide to Bill Eckert's final words: "forgive yourself for what you did to your mother." Geary suggested last June that this year-long journey (that fans found arduous, by the way) kept him from leaving GH, but allegedly after having a post-surgery epiphany, he opted to go anyway. Rather conveniently, the double-homicide unveiling  provided a built-in exit, but the writers wanted to take Luke down the corner of Ridiculous Lane and Unnecessary Road one last time. Jennifer (Frank's daughter) wanted to blackmail Luke into sleeping with her to get "closure" from their broken engagement 35 years ago (6/22). Frank, who's supposed to be dead, wanted to avenge being shot 21 years ago (7/3). A retro villain was resuscitated (and recasted) to be shot again after about 4 episodes (7/6). Oh, and he has something to do with Little Jake (who wasn't born until 2007) being alive, though we won't be told how! It was silly and pathetically underdeveloped. What was the reason for it?! To reunite Luke with his off-canvas sons and ex-boos, Laura and Holly? Him severely needing psychological care was sufficient enough. Was it to bring back Little Jake? Geary theorized the Jake scenario was to redeem Luke from being a child killer, but I think it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with making things more complicated between Liz, Jason and Sam, once Jason regains his memory (more on that in a bit). It would be nice if Jake wasn't killed in the first place or was resurrected to right a wrong, but instead he's being used as a plot device, which I always hate. Luke and Tracy's parting scenes were well-scribed and bright, with Elliott being the queen she can't help but be. The dialogue about how Tracy needs to feed her spirit after chasing Luke and ELQ, and how he needs to recover and can't pick up where he left off gave a powerful and sensible conclusion to their romance that didn't feel hurried or unnatural. The ghosts of Luke's youth reappeared on 7/24, giving him resolve and perspective; again, beautifully done and thorough. Why kill Patricia though? We just got her! I hate when phantom characters are finally brought out of the shadows, only to die almost instantly.

Lulu got on my nerves when it came to Valerie in the beginning. She was heartless and unsympathetic to Valerie in the wake of her mother's death and her assault from Luke. Sure, Val nearly killed Lulu's dad, but can you blame her for being distraught? Valerie was in an unfamiliar city with family members who were essentially strangers. Dante was the only one making a consistent effort to be welcoming, but Lulu wanted to be jealous and paranoid of their budding friendship, and in an 8th grade move, she asked Nikolas to use his Cassadine power to thwart Valerie's job seeking  and keep her from working alongside Dante at the PCPD (5/29). Of course, none of that matters now, since Valerie banged her husband...in her house...in her bed. The writers did a good job of gradually shaping Dante and Valerie's connection, but everything around their tryst felt abrupt. In 1 episode, Valerie went from a "Lante" (Lulu and Dante) advocate to a Lante destroyer, saying she had no regrets, expressing disappointment that Dante didn't have an authentic interest in her and hoping he would leave Lulu for her. It's out of Dante's character to sleep with Valerie and imply that Lulu should rank her family members: "I care that our child and our marriage mean so much less to you than being Luke Spencer's daughter (7/8)!" Shame on her for trying to keep her brothers from being killed! Shame! It was bad enough Dante cheated, but projecting his guilt and kicking Lulu where it hurts was beyond low. On a related note, I hope Dillon gets a formidable angle; it will be sad if they only pulled a Quartermaine out to facilitate a Lante breakup.

Hayden, Ric, Liz, Nikolas, Jason & Sam
What Happened: In case you missed it, Jason (Billy Miller) was kept alive by the Cassadines. He escaped, got hit by a car, lost his memory and needed facial reconstruction. He thinks his name is Jake (who's really his son). Wanting Liz to himself and away from Jason, Ric (Rick Hearst) paid a woman, Hayden Barnes, to pretend to be his wife. Nikolas (Tyler Christopher) supposes Helena hired her. When he questions her, she denies it and they randomly begin a sexual relationship right there (4/8). Carly (Laura Wright) has Spinielli investigate Hayden to see if she's legit. He finds the male model that Hayden  posed with for faux wedding pictures. In the middle of Ric's (really sweet Bruno Mars "Marry Me" performance/slideshow) proposal to Liz (Rebecca Herbst) at the Nurse's Ball, Carly Kanye'd him with the model by her side and exposes the fraud (5/1). Knowing Liz would make a bee-line to Jason, Nikolas told her his true identity to avert another shocker down the line. Initially, she was going to take the high road and announce to Jason's loved ones he was alive, but then she got crazy eyes. She convinced herself the universe was throwing her a bone (literally and figuratively) and this was her chance to finally be with Jason (5/5). She then took him home and made love to another woman's husband. Nikolas had Hayden (Rebecca Budig) shot in the head to keep her from telling his and Liz's secret, leaving her in a coma (5/18). He was finally able to sweep ELQ from Michael after tricking Nina into thinking she sold Franco's shares to Michael via Rosalie (6/1) and blackmailing Brook Lynn for hers via Sloane (6/15). Lucy voted in his favor to break a tie (6/23). He claims he did it to recoup Cassadine wealth that Helena and Victor were siphoning with their diabolical projects (not the strongest motive, but at least the writers finally gave him one). Both Lucky and Laura found out about Jason, but Nikolas used reverse-psychology to ensure their silence.

My Commentary: Though I really enjoyed Hayden's love scenes with Nikolas (she threw him against a wall once; I got my life!), her shag-every-male-stranger-on-sight sex drive is written in a way that feels satirical. Outside of that, Hayden is a witty, perceptive and unapologetic straight-talker and I love her. She's fun. I honestly felt sorry for Ric; what a waste of a nice proposal! Haha! I dreaded that moment for him, but it had to come. He was on a good track for a minute. Boy, was the apple calling the orange fruity when Liz told Ric was he was never "good enough" for her and scolded him for lacking honesty and respect and  being full of "self-doubt, obsession and insecurities." How dare she chastise Ric for not changing when she was being the same ol' thirsty, desperate woman she's always been?! Fans of the character were upset she was written to be making yet another deplorable choice to snatch a man and chase Jason again. JaSammers (fans of Jason and Sam) were rioting, and all others found her act just down-right dirty. I personally can't wait until Sam and Carly find out. It should be an epic blood-bath. If the writers do this right, we're talking an Emmy-reel-worthy scene for Kelly Monaco (Sam). Speaking of Monaco, she slayed more than usual in May, pouring so much heart and skill into all these little moments and filling out scenes. For example, the silent, but palpable pain she conveyed on 5/14 where Sam came across her and Jason's wedding bands (Jason's ring was recently returned to her after being lost for the last few years). Over the May 15th/18th live tapings, Sam was in a side-plot position (confronting Jason about Duke's murder, whom she had no relationship with), but Monaco was a such a standout, her scenes with Miller were amongst the top talk. 

It's pretty sick and twisted how Prince Nicky could have someone murdered that he repeatedly banged. Nothing quite says "usage and discard" and "you're nothing but an object" than that. At minimum, nothing says "I'm truly a Cassadine" than killing someone so you can take over a company ran by your dead wife's (Emily's) family. As awful as this is and him hurting my JaSam, I am LIVING  for the Dark Prince. From unabashedly telling Sam about his corporate raiding on 6/22 ('I would never ask my son to live in reduced circumstances; we're Cassadines, damn it!"), to promptly putting his feet up on Michael's desk while ousting him ("I'm sorry, was this seat taken?") on 6/25, his "I don't give a frock" is on fleek. This must be how the Michael Quartermaine fans felt when he emerged. It's nice seeing the character's cool confidence and intelligence restored; he evades slyly and has an answer for every reprimand. He shuddered not when Tracy brought Emily up, saying "Don't throw her in my face; you hated Emily...She was better than all of you and you refused to accept her into your family (6/23)." I knew things had taken a turn when, in chastising Rosalie (Linda Elena Tovar) for going to the police, he said "Give me 1 good reason that I shouldn't lock you up on Cassadine Island while you live out the rest of your days as my grandmother's bitch (6/25)!" What was weak and illogical was the voodoo he was able to work on Lucky and Laura. Although Lucky's kids (2 adopted, 1 biological) have been fatherless all this time and have endured a revolving door of Liz's suitors, Lucky didn't spill about Jason so they would have one (7/14). Although Laura didn't tell anyone for years she bore Nikolas to protect her family from threat, Nikolas somehow equated this to what he and Liz are doing and Laura bought it (7/22). I was furious and fuming. Lucky and Laura would never 1) be that easily manipulated and 2) harbor such a secret. Recently released head-writer Ron Carlivati did a lot of out-of-character writing during his tenure, but this was so obnoxious and egregious, I wondered if it was done on purpose. It's wasn't necessary for Lucky and Laura to know the secret at all; especially since Jonathan Jackson was only doing 3-4 episodes to send Luke off. Most of all, these are flagship, legacy characters. That's where the tampering line is drawn. Was this a game of "How quickly can I write someone out of form?" or "How much can I piss off fans today?"

Sabrina, Michael, Morgan, Kiki, Ava & Avery
What Happened: To get Baby Avery back in Sonny's hands, Morgan (Bryan Craig) swapped out Michael's allergy meds for pills that would interact more significantly with alcohol, causing him to appear as a drunken, unfit guardian. A wobbling Michael (Chad Duell) knocked over Avery's stroller while she was in it (4/8). Michael eventually caught Morgan and pressed charges (4/24), which he dropped after Sonny (Maurice Benard) promised to stop his appeal for Avery's custody (4/28). Dr. Silas (Michael Easton) rescues a wounded Ava (Maura West) and helps her heal while everyone thinks she's dead. He finds she has cancer and kidnaps Avery from Kiki on 4/13 to take her bone marrow (6/3). To elude previous murder charges, Ava resurfaces in PC disguised as Denise Demuccio, a separated-at-birth twin sister (6/1). The marrow altered her DNA and she burned her fingerprints to not get caught by police. Ava is devastated to know Morgan is dating Kiki again (6/9) and that she can't have access to Avery; Michael returned the infant to Sonny to bury the hatchet (6/29). Michael also calls a truce with Morgan (6/3). Ava tells Franco (Roger Howarth) about her charade (7/6) and in exchange for destroying the evidence she killed Connie, she agrees to help him get Nina back. Ava and Morgan can't resist each other (he believes he's just drawn to "Denise" because she looks like Ava) and after multiple close-calls, they have sex (7/17). The 2nd time, they're caught by Silas. With his daughter's boyfriend cheating on her and the mentally unstable Nina (his ex-wife) starting to believe she took Avery, Silas swears to blow Ava out of the water, even if it means jail-time for him (7/30).

My Commentary: The stroller accident and Michael's drugging scenes were pretty exciting and entertaining. He was making a public fool of himself, getting crass with everyone, including the police and his lawyer...poor Alexis. It was great watching "off-the-hinges" Michael--mouthy, insubordinate, persistent and emotional--that's the Michael I know. This white-knight, white-washed thing has gone so far, they even had him being the 1st to stop sex with new girlfriend Sabrina, to "take things slow." Sabrina, the character who's walking holy water, and at the time was worried about her criminal 1st love being hurt by law enforcement. Absurd. The essential writing problem with M&M (I just had to use that) is imbalance and extremities-Michael's a spotless angel, Morgan's an ignorant devil-which ignores and contradicts their character histories and every precedent set. They deserve their own tailor-made narrative, versus being forced into being AJ and Jason part deux, which was a completely different situation. Michael is the clear winner, when it should be muddier and more complicated than that. I might do a more exhaustive piece on this later. Square pegs are being forced into round holes all around; the prime reason we have to suffer through a needless "MorKi" redux and the ill-pairing of Michael and Sabrina is because there aren't enough young people on GH and soap writers seem too afraid to explore angles that aren't romance-based. Heaven forbid a character is single. Who cares if it's awful for the storyline, redundant or feigned, right? I object to Sabrina and Michael in part because I'm sick of Sabrina (Teresa Castillo) being used as a romantic bridge for other characters and not having a storyline that's all about her. That's why, in hindsight, I hate that her baby didn't live. I hate the Ava poisoning plot was thrown away so quickly and that "Carlina" (Carlos and Sabrina) was so short-lived. Carlos was from her past, and with him, she's wasn't this saccharine sweet, girlish push-over. Proving my case are comments and tweets where viewers imply they're only interested in her because she's with a guy they like (exhibit A). If nothing else, Michael is a boy.

Ava lives! So happy to see West back in action; she's clearly having fun playing Denise. I don't care that Ava is helping Morgan cheat on Kiki. The way I see it, it's karma for her dumping Morgan for his brother. I still can't stand Kiki overall, but I am liking some of the developments with her character and the recast, Hayley Erin. Post-Michael Kiki isn't as whiny and co-dependent. Add this in with Erin's assertive energy (she sells it), and you have a fireball. It was cool to see Sonny actually forfeit his own desires to protect  Morgan. Parts of hell must be frozen. In making a (dishonest) parallel of Michael to A.J.'s alcoholism, Morgan said "That's what made Jason a robot."  I thought it was fascinating that was Morgan's perception of his namesake. It was a view so vastly different (and unfeeling) from everyone else in the circle, making it more apparent how much of a stranger Morgan is in his own world. His statement also highlighted the uncomfortable and sparingly mentioned truth that A.J. intentionally tried to kill Jason in a car accident years ago and that tragedy is what made Jason the man they know and love. 

Anna & Duke, Jordan & Shawn
What Happened: Duke and Anna planned to runaway together and give love a second chance. Before meeting up, Duke (Ian Buchannan) unsuccessfully tried to call off the hit on Jordan (Vinessa Antoine) for being a police informant (she was able to get the upper-hand and kill the shooter; 5/8). On Julian's orders, Carlos (Jeffrey Vincent Parise) cornered and shot him in the abdomen (5/7). Duke made it to the docks and died in Anna's arms. Carlos bragged that he would likely get off for lack of proof, and a grieving Anna (Finola Hughes) shot him (5/15). Commissioner Sloane (Grayson McCouch) helped her dispose of Carlos' body and any evidence (5/20); they tell everyone that Carlos attacked her and escaped arrest. Anna's guilty conscience causes hallucinations of Carlos taunting her (5/22). Sloane's consolation turns into sex (6/1). Anna leaves town to spread Duke's ashes and clear her head (6/8). On 5/18, Jordan had to break her cover and arrest Shawn (Sean Blakemore) to prevent a Sonny-initiated hit on Jason (at the time, it was believed he killed Duke). She pulled him back as began to fire. It's assumed his bullet is what hit Hayden in the head. Jordan confesses TJ is Shawn's son, hoping it will motivate him to take a plea deal and give Sonny up (5/22). He refuses and goes to prison, furious at Jordan for her lies and betrayal, never telling TJ the truth (5/27). TJ (Tequan Richmond) has a department store racial profiling incident that escalates to him hitting a cop (6/11). Ric clears him to leave jail until his 1st court date, but the mayor tells Jordan, who's now the commissioner (6/2), that it will look like preferential treatment if he's released. Jordan caves; TJ resents her more. Sonny intimidates the officer into foregoing  his charges and pays TJ's college tuition (6/16). TJ moves in with Sonny until his dorm is ready. This sparks a vendetta for Jordan against Sonny (6/24).

My Commentary: It seems like death was the go-to write out option for Carlivati and his team, and it was aggravating, to say the least. I was so deeply  disappointed in and didn't understand the choice to kill Duke, another legacy figure. I wonder what the rationale was and if alternatives were discussed. Duke got AJ'd; brought back from the dead after ages (to the joy of many), only to be murdered 3 years later. Carlivati was given cookies for pulling in old favorites, but he never knew what do with them; they're were either written out of character, given lame or minimal storylines and/or killed. If Duke just had to be scribbled out, Anna could've hid him away, faked his death or pretended to not know where he was. To top off this bitter cake, Julian (William Devry) still won because he eliminated Duke and was the very reason he and Anna were separated in the first place (Duke joined the mob to get retribution for Anna's miscarriage). Anna faulted Duke for his choice, but sought retribution herself; hmph. In the process, she ruined any chances for legal justice in Duke's murder, and because Sloane was busy helping her, Jordan had to blow her cover. I can't believe Anna had sex with Sloane; Duke hadn't been in the ground a week! She didn't seem to have any reservations about it until later, and even then, she talked about revisiting the idea of a relationship with Sloane! Awful. *Shakes head* Sloane went from shady dealings to snitching on Nikolas (5/29), so I think they're trying to clean him up, but I'm not interested in him at all. The "haunting" scenes with Parise were perfection; so fantastically crafted and performed. I love that ghost-Los said what I was thinking about how Anna took action over Duke, but couldn't harm Faison, who staged her daughter's death and held her captive for years (5/22). It was kind of backwards. Sabrina deceived Carlos to give Anna his location, so she's going to be pretty sick with herself when she realizes she had a hand in his death.

Just like Parise, Blakemore showed how under-utilized he was in his concluding episodes. He finally got a moving storyline and he was leaving the show. Antoine (I love her) and Richmond were no slouches either. I can't take Jordan's Sonny witch-hunt (she's trying to find a way to arrest him) seriously. She hates that he got TJ off the hook. Well, if you were less worried about P.R. and your job, TJ wouldn't need Sonny's help. She says she doesn't want her child around mob violence. Um...you sent your kid off to live with a hit-man because, again, your job was the priority. Where was the concern then? Get outta' here, J. From the mayor speaking about diversity at the PCPD, to TJ's arrest and him observing that Shawn's Caucasian counterparts who committed worse crimes got off scot free, the racial commentary in may and June was refreshing and reminiscent of a time where GH tackled social issues. Too bad it was fleeting.

Other Notes
The Nurses Ball 2015 & GH Live!:
2 super fun, entertaining  and enjoyable events back to back! The Nurses Ball (5/1-5/5) is always a blast with its scandalous bombshells and amusing sung performances from the cast. My favorite number this year was The Haunted Starlets doing Meghan Trainor's "Dear Future Husband" (Castillo's voice is so beautiful) and, of course, Magic Milo & The Magic Wands, haha. It was wonderful seeing Britt visiting Spencer (Nicolas Bechtel), her mother and Brad (Parry Shen) to chomp on ice-cream and dissect the red carpet. Also, Alicia Leigh Willis reprising her role as Courtney; really sweet moment with a sullen and injured Spencer. GH Live was a treat; aside from a few minuscule errors, the cast handled it like the pros they are. I was hoping someone would mess up, accidentally curse or laugh though; that's the beauty of live TV, right? The Periscope set feed was so awesome! Who knew the stage was so tiny. It was funny seeing who's "house" was next to what. I hope they do it again soon. I cracked up watching Parise hold his "shot dead" staring pose for so long and hearing the word "live" repeated through the dialogue.

Nina & Ric: Ric has the dough for an elaborate extortion plan, but needs to get in on penniless Madeline's (Donna Mills) scheme rip her daughter's inheritance away (5/29)? Planting cribs & baby sound effects to drive an already batty woman (i.e. Nina) battier to convince her she kidnapped an infant so you can have her committed and steal her money is pretty low; even for Ric (7/15). I understand that characters got to have something to do, but this plot does nothing for the players because it's not designed for long-term effects or repercussions, and Nina (Michelle Stafford) still won't be integrated into the PC troupe. Additionally, it's almost shameful having Mills in a role where she's chasing the same money for over a year. I feel sorry for Nina; she's pushed and pulled by everyone and hasn't gotten any real sympathy or vindication for what's happened to her.
Nathan, Maxie, Spinelli & Ellie: Nathan (Ryan Paevey) has risked life, limb and employment for Maxie (Kirsten Storms), and she left him dangling in her romantic indecisiveness, in the end choosing Spinelli (Bradford Anderson) on 4/13. Nathan and Ellie's efforts to make Maxie and Spinelli jealous worked and they instantly went back to their respective partners with no penalty (5/6). The whole thing was so rushed and random, I wondered what the point was. Maxie doesn't deserve either guy, in my opinion. Ellie (Emily Wilson) eloquently and logically reading Maxie down for her selfish, childish and flaky behavior on 4/14 was everything I needed.

Ned & Olivia: Ned (Wally Kurth) foolishly sold his ELQ shares to Franco (4/16) to keep it on the hush that Olivia (Lisa LoCicero) was pregnant with Julian's child, but it got out anyway at the ball, where Olivia gave birth (5/8). The infant was ill, but once his health improved, Olivia put the child in hiding and told Julian he died (5/19), which is pretty screwed up, though I get her cause.
Helena's Last Hoorah: Tying into Luke's farewell, a neutered Helena (Constance Towers) provides Little Jake (who sees Liz on 7/13), hilariously slaying "Nikolas has finally picked up the gauntlet...exiled me...stripped me of all my power; I'm so proud. I mean, how much more Cassadine could he be?" I doubt this is the last we've seen of her, but her speech about her games with Luke coming to an end was of course terrifically carried out and full of sarcasm (7/9). It was actually a little bit sad; Helena looked so down, haha.

Well, that took a lot out of me; I need some eats!

NOTE: This campaign is now closed. If you still would like to donate to my GH Fan Club Weekend fundraiser, you can do so here, but please be advised that the donation will not go towards comments or questions to be included in the following interview. Thanks, J.
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I'm doing an interview with General Hospital's Brytni Sarpy (A.K.A. Valerie Spencer) and you can be a part of it!! The first 10 people to donate $30 to my fundraiser to attend GH Fan Club Weekend will get to submit a question to be answered by Brytni guaranteed! The first 20 people to donate $15 can submit a personal message or comment that will be sent to and seen by her, again, guaranteed! Here's what you have to do:

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