Well…I was going to post this on January 20th, but not a whole lot happened, so I waited an additional week and…things are still in the same position, so forgive me if this edition of LIPC seems abbreviated. You would think I had plenty to say since a psychopath is now the hospital’s Chief of Staff, an exciting gay love triangle is brewing and Carly (Laura Wright) has been kidnapped and drugged, but as noted in “Why 'General Hospital's' 50th Year is its Least Remarkable,” bombs explode in such a settle fashion in Port Charles, it’s like there wasn’t a bomb at all.
Michael, Carly, Franco & Heather
In this corner of the show, I eagerly waited for 2 things: 1) For Carly to tell Michael (Chad Duell) that she’s dating Franco (Roger Howarth), the man partly responsible for his rape in prison, and 2) For Carly to find out that Franco killed his mother, Heather (Robin Mattson). I was raring to go for these plot-points because I expected a great fallout, but as I have to say too often in my articles, no such thing. Michael’s reaction to ‘Farly’ or ‘Carco,’ or whatever Carly and Franco are called, was good, he was angry, but not angry enough. It didn’t quite go over the hill. There were great lines like “I thought you were smarter than this” and “I’ll make you [Franco] pay for what you did to me,” but I really wanted Michael to nearly renounce Carly. He should feel hurt and betrayed that his mother would desire a man who’s harmed him so and caused irreparable damage. Let’s think about this in the context of real life: its 1 thing to forgive because of the tumor, but to sleep with?! Date?! I’d have so much rage towards my mother! I’d be in tears (in addition to worrying about her safety, which Michael was)! Oh, and why was Kiki there? Why did Carly invite her to such a personal, mother-to-son moment? All she did was make offensive comments that should’ve vexed Michael more, like “You’re not being fair at all” and “He [Franco] saved your life.” Maybe trouble in ‘Miki’s’ paradise as it relates to Franco will arise, as Kiki (Kristen Alderson) lied to Michael about harboring Franco in their apartment to protect him from arrest. As usual, Ava (Maura West) stole a scene that wasn’t even about her when she put Carly in her place just before Michael sat down with his not-so-dutiful mother. I was giggling with delight. I heart Ava. So much.
After Carly’s failed lunch with Michael, she was kidnapped by Heather, who Franco doesn’t know survived his murder attempt. Heather’s goal was to kill Carly and frame Franco for it. I rolled my eyes. Just when I thought Michael and Carly would have this severed relationship (at least temporarily) and Franco would go back to being interesting, that was blown to smithereens and the writers cooked up another story where Franco will likely come out victorious and we’re supposed to feel sorry for him because he’s been victimized. Michael will no longer care who Carly is dating, because he’ll just be glad to have her back. Carly won’t be concerned if Franco still has a taste for the morbid, because she’ll just be glad to be alive. Franco stabbing his mother in the stomach will be looked at as chivalrous! Oh, my knight in shining armor! Michael will end up apologizing to Franco for accusing him of kidnapping. My stomach is turning already. I don’t know how many times I have to say it, but Franco is better as a villain. Will I hate him less? No, but it’s more aggravating to me to watch his forced sanctification! Also, him moping around and gushing over Carly is just plain boring. Another missed beat within this frame? Sonny (Maurice Bernard). Everyone else is frantic with worry that Carly’s dead, but Sonny’s been chill and having sex with Olivia. Lastly, how hard did you laugh when Carly told Michael he’s the “fairest person” she knows? Right, because “fair” people steal their brother’s girlfriends. Yes, I’m still on that.
Welp, Sabrina (Teresa Castillo) is pregnant with Patrick’s (Jason Thompson) child. Factoring in that Kimberly McCullough (who portrays Robin) is set to make another exit soon and Castillo will need maternity leave around May (she’s having a baby girl! Yay! Congrats!), using the ‘Patrina’ baby for this unconvincing love triangle isn’t what’s best story-wise or logistically (You can read why I think it’s unconvincing here). Sabrina doesn’t need to carry this baby to term. Maybe she should lose it somehow, go into a depression and leave town for a while. Maybe, in a weird twist of events, the baby will actually belong to Carlos (Jeffery Vincent Parise)? I don’t know, but a baby with Patrick doesn’t need to happen. One might say “Kim’s leaving, so let Patrick and Sabrina get back together.” No. A Scrubs/Patrina yo-yo would be annoying and unfair to every character involved. I understand; you don’t want to see Patrick wallowing without Robin for another 3,000 years or having a dry storyline—I don’t either. I propose….don’t yell at me…a temporary Robin recast, ala` Jen Lilley (who took over as Maxie for Kirsten Storms when she was overcome with endometriosis). I know, I know, Robin has never been recast, no one can fill her shoes, she’s a legacy actress, she’s literally grown up on the show, I know. However, a recast would enable Kim to do her extra-curriculars without interrupting the continuity of the show. I’ll let you guys chew on that. Speaking of Robin, like some other fans, I was a little perturbed we haven’t heard Robin go into detail about what she’s endured over the last 2 years. As one viewer tweeted “Where’s Robin’s PTSD [Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder] storyline?” There were a few complaints online that Robin’s readjustment to her old life was more Sabrina-focused than it should have. Robin casually mentioned PTSD recently, so maybe we’ll see a gritty emotional breakdown or struggle soon.
Let me just say, I love Carlos. I love his fearless, tell-it-like-it-is, hot-blooded, street-wise demeanor (especially when he sasses Patrick). I also like what he brings out of Sabrina; she’s a lot feistier around him. I was swooning when, in a few seconds, Carlos came up with a plan to alleviate Sabrina’s concerns about keeping her baby and possibly causing conflict for a newly-reunited Patrick and Robin. He offered to claim her child as his own and move back to their stomping ground of Puerto Rico, so Patrick will never find out Sabrina was pregnant. The ‘Patrick never finding out’ part didn’t pan out though, as Felix (Marc Anthony Samuel) blabbed within 24 hours of finding out himself, putting Sabrina in the position to lie to Patrick. I wanted to choke Felix; he limited Sabrina’s options with Patrick and then had the nerve to equate Sabrina with Britt and call her a liar because he disagreed with her choice! Sabrina was already between a rock and hard place and Felix made the rock that much sharper. The writers have turned Felix into Carly; he’s intrusive, meddling and self-righteous. He needs something to do. At the pinnacle of Felix’s Carly-ness, it seemed the writers ripped the script straight from Twitter. They heard our cries, GH’ers! On 1/14, Brad (Parry Shen) hilariously read Felix for filth and told him about himself! I fell and I couldn’t get up! Brad got onto him about being in everyone’s business and told him to get a life! I never thought Brad would get a standing ovation from me. Felix later admitted that Brad was right and asked him out on a date. Felix has his work cut out for him now as Brad’s body is still steaming from a hot hookup with the handsome Dr. Lucas Jones (Ryan Carnes). The pair hit the sheets (off-camera, sadly) after bonding over alcohol and adoption stories; 2 points to the writers for linking Brad to GH’s Asian Quarter mob history. That was pretty cool. In other hospital news, loony Dr. Obrecht (Kathleen Gati) is now Chief of Staff and it appears she got the job (and her criminal record expunged) by making an exchange with another powerfully evil someone. Word on the street is that it’s Victor Cassadine, brother of Mikkos, brother-in-law of Helena, great uncle of Nikolas. Gearing up for February sweeps, I suppose. Hope this is a good one.
Sam & Silas
Just like my Franco dreams were dashed, so were my hopes for Dr. Silas Clay (Michael Easton). The deep, dark secret Ava kept alluding to is out: Silas is still legally married to a woman named Nina. He cheated on her with Ava and conceived Kiki. Nina presumably tried to commit suicide with a lethal dose of drugs and ended up in a coma. Cold-case detective Nathan West (Ryan Paevey) suspects Silas staged things and tried to kill his wife. Sam (Kelly Monaco) believes Silas is innocent and has tried to pin things on Ava. The pharmacist who issued the deadly prescription swears Silas wrote for it, but Silas maintains he’s blameless. I’m going to go ahead and assume his mentally unbalanced, now ‘deceased’ twin brother, Stephen, wrote it to frame Silas and get him back for abandoning him years before. Argh. If I’m right, this is it? That’s all?? Here I was thinking that the writers were going to give Silas some shady pizzazz, but alas, he’s just like Franco: made sanctified and victimized with any crimes rationalized. His girlfriend is guilty of more! Geez!
Duke, Sonny, Morgan & The Jeromes
A mob war that involves broken family ties and pieces together GH annals should be must-see television, but it’s not. It’s been unbelievably dull and slow moving. Again, I concurred with ‘Lurker’: “This mob story should be more compelling than it is. So many interesting characters involved; needs more focus and action. More Duke.” I barely want to write about it, but…Sonny suspected that his son Morgan (Bryan Craig) was working as a mole for the Jeromes, so he set a trap for Julian (Willam Devry) by telling Morgan about it to test his theory. Julian showed up and Duke (Ian Buchannan) roughed him up for fun (I did enjoy that scene; wish it lasted longer). Julian now is trying to figure out if Morgan ratted him out or if Sonny was just 1 step ahead. This should bring some spark back to this plot, as Morgan’s head is wanted on 2 different silver platters. Julian should get to him 1st, Sonny will forgive Morgan and realized he was blackmailed and Ava will be Julian’s new contender for hurting her cub. What do you guys think of that? By the way, I live for ‘Morgava;’ they are just hot, hot, hot. I feel this writhing passion every time they share a scene. Is it just me? On a different Jerome note, the scene where Lucas discovers he’s Julian’s spawn and meets him (and his half-sister Sam) was dull as well. Can I get some fiery emotion, please?! Can I get a ground-shaking moment?! Everything involving Julian is like stale soda.
Maxie, Lulu & Dante
I miss Kirsten Storms already, first off. Before Maxie left town to “find herself” (AKA maternity leave), she took 1 more crack at smoothing things over with Lulu (Emme Rylan) on 12/30. The Ice Queen (i.e. Lulu) seemed to be giving up the frost, but in an Arctic blast, she sent Maxie packing and reiterated forgiveness wasn’t an option for her. After receiving disappointing news from Dr. Britt Westbourne (Kelly Theibaud) that she had no more available eggs to make an embryo for a new surrogate, Lulu brought a polar vortex upon husband Dante (Dominic Zampronga) and left him solo on New Year’s Eve. Still blaming him for losing baby Connie in the custody battle (Dante wouldn’t lie under oath and deny that Lulu contemplated going on the run with the infant), she said she was leaving town for a while to think. She really meant crashing at Carly’s and it seems Lulu doesn’t plan on coming home to Dante at all. I can’t with her. I understand she’s been through a lot, but so has Dante` and honestly, she’s more to blame for this situation than anyone. They would’ve been able to adopt if she hadn’t falsified their application documents. Dante could resent her for that or for making a plan to kidnap Connie and telling Maxie about it in the 1st place! UGH! I haven’t always been a fan of Dante, but when it comes to Lulu, I’m usually on his team. Her go-to is always to leave him. Heck, he had to fight just to get her attention back in the day. In my opinion, Dante loves Lulu more than she loves him.
Spencer, Emma & Cameron/Britt & Nikolas
You thought the love knots of Jason, Liz and Sam and Jax, Sonny and Brenda were epic? Well, you haven’t seen anything until you’ve gone to the playground! Spencer and Cameron (Nicolas Bechtel, Michael Leone) ‘dueled’ for Emma’s affections over 1/21 and 1/22 and it was the cutest thing ever! If I was Emma (Brooklyn Rae Silzer), I’d choose Spencer; he’s a prince with manners, an impressive vocabulary and he owns an island, ha-ha. The boy also has nerve; he took a cane to Heather’s face and said “Who are you and what are you doing on my property?!”
As for Britt and Nikolas (Tyler Christopher), I feel the same way. On New Year’s Eve, Nikolas went on and on about how Britt is so important to him and the whole time I was thinking “Why is she important to him?” The concept of ‘Brik’ is nice, but unfortunately, the dialogue has lacked the depth needed for the audience to connect to the romance. I get why they’re attracted to each other physically (they’re both beautiful), but I’m in the dark about what bonds them past their hostage crisis.
Well, I have to go; pleasure having lunch with you as usual. Heart you! ;)