*Timbaland voice* It’s been a long time, shouldn’t have left you, without a dope beat to step to, step to, step to, step to…
To make this edition of LIPC just a tinge longer than usual, but cover 5 months storyline, I had to condense. If there is an unmentioned plot point or scene that you’d like to get my opinion on, feel free to contact me here. Thanks for still ridin’ with me and I hope your holidays were pleasant.--J
Patrick & Sam
Patrick (Jason Thompson) was anything but elated when he saw Robin on 8/5 (Kimberly McCullough) at Crichton-Clark clinic in Scarsdale (former home of everyone comatose or kidnapped) while helping Sam (Kelly Monaco) dig up information on Silas’ wife, Nina (Sam’s impersonation and disguise as Sabrina was cute and hilarious). The fact that Robin was so close all along instead of in a remote, Cassadine jungle dungeon added insult to injury that she wasn’t around to comfort Patrick following the car accident that resulted in Gabriel’s death (Patrick’s son with Sabrina). Unnecessarily, Robin lies and says her protocol didn’t work on Jason (whom she was there to revive from death) and that she was remaining at the lab of her own free will. Patrick stupidly, so stupidly, buys this and tells Robin he’s filing for divorce. Why was Robin’s lie written in? Why not say she was still working on Jason? If it was to add to the ever-growing “Reasons Patrick Resents Robin” list (as if it needs to grow; he has enough valid frustration), that was weak because it was completely illogical that Robin would want to stay there. She was taken by a Cassadine for crying out-loud! That screams “prisoner!” *Ren & Stimpey voice* Idiot! The idiocy didn’t stop there. When Patrick hears that Rafe was put up to causing the accident, he was bright enough to figure that Victor might be the mastermind (which he is), but for the wrong reason! He thinks it was to keep him quiet about Jason being on ice, versus to keep Robin in check! Your wife came back from the ‘dead’ after 2 years and strangely insists on remaining with a psychotic Cassadine instead of her family. You’re a surgeon; how are you missing this??! Then, he easily drops his hunch just because Sabrina said he was off-base! After Crichton-Clark explodes, Patrick and Anna (Robin’s mother) are relieved to hear she’s still alive, but believe her tale that she left the clinic weeks ago to reflect in Paris and won’t return anytime soon (9/24). Patrick’s disgusted and Anna’s shocked and worried that Robin has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). What the hell?! Victor died, but Anna (Finola Hughes) knew that Queen Helena Cassadine was possibly walking around. Patrick missing the obvious is one thing, but Anna? The former spy and current police commissioner? Not to mention mother’s intuition?! Why was everyone being so stupid?!
I was also annoyed with how eager Patrick was to get into Sam’s pants, kissing her and unbuttoning her shirt on 9/16. Sam was into it, but reminded him that between their friendship, the crash investigation, their very fresh splits from Robin and Silas and her still healing from Jason, they probably shouldn’t visit romance. Patrick is making me sick with how quick and dry he’s being with leaving Robin, when she stood by him in the wake of his fatal attraction affair with Lisa Niles. His brother Matthew is sitting in prison now because his actions unleashed that nut on everyone, but Robin is so disposable for trying to save a life?! The husband of your close friend?! Get out of here, Patrick. I love his friendship with Sam and wanted the writers to toy with the idea of them romantically, but nothing too in depth. It was fun at 1st, but I’ve gotten mighty tired of seeing Patrick swarming around Sam. He has a sexy edge to him, but watching him stumble through Sam’s world of sneaks, risk and bad-buttness made it evident how much edge he doesn’t have. Even Jerry Jax didn’t think Patty could rise to the occasion of “Sweet Sam,” saying to her: “Jason is the only opponent who presented a challenge…Is your new amor lacking?...He doesn’t look very lively; what’s he going to do? Stare me to death?,” as Patrick stood in a cozy grandpa sweater (10/13 & 10/14).
On 12/5, Patrick fessed up to knowing Jason was alive after being outed by Cesar Faison. I tweeted “Hold me!” as I watched Sam’s disbelief. The anguish and mental torture of knowing her instincts about Jason were right all along, she was just feet away from him on 2 occasions and there was a chance to tell him that Danny was his son and properly say goodbye. The fury over Patrick enlisting her to get justice for his own lost loved one and attempting to start a relationship, all while the husband she was grieving was out there. Whew, lawd! It was simply unforgivable, but Sam was over it just 2 weeks later, and a week after that was kissing Patrick underneath mistletoe (12/24). How?! A frequent frustration I have with the writing is that things either move at a snail’s pace or with speeding light. With the latter, important details are glazed over and/or continuity is broken. Before learning about Jason, Sam was on the fence about dating Patrick and now after, she’s ready to jump his bones on New Year’s?! That doesn’t make sense! What’s the point of a devastating secret if it isn’t going to be devastating and affect things significantly?! It’s almost as if the reveal didn’t happen! I know I’m probably the only viewer who isn’t living for SamTrick, but the writing nuts and bolts of this story are bothering me. It doesn’t add up that Patrick would leave Sabrina at the altar for Robin, but so easily divorce her and be ready to smash someone else. It doesn’t seem emotionally logical that Sam could forgive AND smash Patrick in less than a month. Robin initiating divorce under the guise of PTSD seems more feasible. That would go along with her “I must stay at the lab, in Paris, etc.” cover. Sam being upset for longer than 2 weeks is more realistic.
I thought Patrick was going to get cussed out back to back when he told Carly the truth about Jason on 12/8, but instead, she somehow was so understanding and encouraged him to pursue Sam, saying Jason would want it. What the hell?! Yeah, because Jason would want Patrick to leave his best friend and former lover (Robin) for his wife. Additionally, Patrick discussed the matter so casually (“it sounds like it came out of a bad sci-fi movie”) and made it apparent that he still resents Jason (“I didn’t do it [keep quiet] for Jason”) and preferred he die, mentioning how he’s punishing Robin with divorce for her valiant effort. Carly would’ve been just as furious as Sam, if not more, because heaven knows she was the most possessive when it came to Jason, but the writers have had her out of character for a while, which brings me to...
Carly (Laura Wright) ruined a lot of lives (even baby Avery) by opening her big mouth and telling Franco that Sonny killed AJ Quartermaine (the biological father of her son Michael), as that information would have reaching effects should it get out. Franco (Roger Howarth) spied on Carly with a camera necklace and after seeing her cheat on him with Sonny in Michael’s apartment (eww), he plotted to ambush her at their Halloween wedding. Michael (Chad Duell) fast-forwarded over shock and hurt and went straight to unforgiving rage, but I personally was more thrilled by Carly’s response to Franco (strange, I know). She got to his sore spots by calling out his cowardly M.O. of hurting 3rd parties to attack his enemies, his re-victimization of Michael and admitting she only dated him to hold on to Jason (whom everyone thought was his brother at 1 point). It’s just sad that Carly only held Michael’s rape against Franco (finally) because he betrayed her. If you love ‘CarSon’ (A.K.A. Carly and Sonny), the “Hallowedding” was hard to watch, but the disastrous nuptials provided gifts (the end of ‘CarCo’ and the return of ‘Carson’) and what could be riveting narratives: the rise of Michael Quartermaine and the fall of Sonny Corinthos (Maurice Benard). My only issue with how CarSon got back together is that there was no transition from Sonny begging for Olivia’s forgiveness (he cheated with Ava) to pining again for Carly. Michael forsaking Sonny and accepting his Quartermaine birthright has been a long-awaited event (Sonny violently coerced AJ into giving Michael up years ago). Many fans cheered as he nearly shot Sonny to death, legally changed his name and kicked his brother and girlfriend out of the brownstone he owns because they knew about AJ’s murder. Michael’s stand-off with Sonny (11/7 & 11/10), where Duell wonderfully played off the brilliance of Bernard, Maura West and Bryan Craig, was incredible from start to finish. Michael declared that Sonny would be a “Teflon don” no more, threatening him with death as he flipped his lessons of retribution on him and threw his mistakes in his face. Sonny didn’t argue, prepared to pay his “penance.” The other Corinthos sons intervened, however, Dante (Dominic Zamprogna) with reverse psychology and Morgan (Craig) jumping in the line of fire and willing to take a bullet (loved that!). The 1 time Sonny could defer responsibility, he doesn’t. In explaining how he shot AJ, he made it sound like it was almost intentional, when in reality, he saw AJ choking Ava like he did his late girlfriend Connie and he mentally snapped.
The general consensus about ‘Michael Quartermaine’ is “It’s about time this guy had some guts!” I keep saying this, but it’s so weird and disappointing how Sonny’s kids don’t have half the spunk they should, given their virile DNA. Speaking of, all this Corinthos calamity (and a new sibling) and Kristina is still nowhere to be found. Anyhow, I’ll wait to see what Mike Q brings to the table; as of now, he’s only slightly more impressive than his former self. AJ and Grandpa Quartermaine begged Michael to embrace his family, but he didn’t care to do that until he had no one else; how convenient. Also, I resent anyone who puts me in a position to feel sorry for Kiki (Kristen Alderson), even if it’s just for a few seconds. The irrelevant, hypocritical and uncalled-for insults he hurled at her on 11/17 and 11/19 bordered on verbal abuse and slut-shaming. This is the brother she picked? For the record, Morgan didn’t treat her this way when they spilt. Just saying. Reeling from saving infant Avery and discovering he wasn’t her father, Morgan kissed Kiki on 12/23. Instead of seeing and calling it for what it was (i.e. high emotions), Kiki indicated she may have feelings for him, but thinks they should table exploring it for now. *Rolls eyes* We don’t need a replay of this dance. GH needs to add to the younger set, if for no other reason than to give Morgan a new tango partner. It drove me nuts seeing him kick it with Michael and Kiki because there were no other characters he’d likely fraternize with. There was the sassy and secretive Rosalie (Linda Elena Tovar), but of course she ended up in the sack with Michael. Dang, can Morgan be great? As for Avery’s (Ava’s the mother) paternity results, I don’t think Sonny is really the father. No DNA test is ever right the 1st time in PC. Plus, Sonny doesn’t need another kid. Seriously.
The downfall of Sonny Corinthos is an opportunity to build a bridge between 2 generations of viewers. Sonny is the face of the mob era, which started in the 2000’s. Pre-mob fans were disgruntled that plotlines got away from the hospital and thus begrudged the character. If he endures disgrace and crawls back to triumph, those that love him will appreciate the added complexity and those in dislike will feel satisfied he finally “got his.” Old enemy Johnny Zacchara (welcome back Brandon Barash!) had Sonny beaten on 12/8 and kidnapped Ric (welcome back Rick Hearst!) from witness protection to get Sonny to hand over his business. How on earth does Johnny have more influence than Sonny in jail, when he had less control going in? Sonny should have just as many allies as enemies, but okay. He and Julian made like Batman and Robin and killed Johnny’s men on 1/8. I thoroughly enjoyed that.
Jordan & Shawn
Jordan Ashford (Vinessa Antoine) is a queen. She’s sharp, no nonsense, whoops all kinds of butt and is sexy as hell. TJ’s mama has brought the fire back to BLT maker by day, hitman by night Shawn (Sean Blakemore). Their chemistry is irrefutable and their sex scenes are always sweltering. The couple’s status is fluctuating and hazy, as they’re always on opposing sides. Jordan was undercover DEA working under Julian Jerome and Shawn is with Sonny. Shawn usually kills the vibe, constantly hypocritically chastising Jordan for her criminal involvement, even right after sex. He goes so far as to challenge her parental capacities, as if he’s an upstanding citizen himself. He absolutely tried it when he got ticked at her for not helping him do his job in finding Ava (9/26). Shawn should be complaining less since Jordan’s switched to the Corinthos organization, but secretly, it’s to help the PCPD. This should be so fun. The silliest thing to happen to Jordan over the last few months was get taken down by Heather. Jordan knocked out a robust man minutes before meeting Heather, yet the psycho got her on the floor, tied her up and covered her mouth. What was the point of Heather getting released anyway? I thought she was going to be an integral part of the Hallowedding, but…whatever. I hope the writers take notice of how the audience has gravitated to Jordan and expand her character. I got excited seeing her become Ava’s right hand woman, saving her from execution (it was awesome how she got Shawn to stand down on 9/23; with a cute bag/pistol combo no less) and taking the wrap for hitting Jason (9/24). Her rescue of Ric from Carlos (who now works for Johnny Z) with Shawn was just as baller (12/22). She’s bomb. Do people still say that? Haha. The real deal on how TJ’s (Tequan Richmond) dad died was a little underwhelming and not as scandalous as I hoped (11/19), but it’s okay, I guess. Shawn killed him in self-defense after being confronted about a long-ended affair with Jordan. What’s on the hook is TJ’s paternity; Jordan had a ‘mama’s baby, papa’s maybe’ look when they discussed it.
I sarcastically list Jackson family members because this Luke Spencer (Anthony Geary) impersonation conspiracy has so many players now (including Julian Jerome, Jerry Jax, Cesar Faison, Larry Ashton and Victor and Helena Cassadine) and it’s still painfully unclear what the motives are and who fake-Luke is (as of 1/9 it’s strongly suggested that it’s a ‘dead’ cousin, Bill Eckert). In the beginning, I liked the plot because it was so bewildering and a baddie-palooza, but it’s worn out its welcome. I’m over seeing Fluke antagonize Luke, Luke’s usually intelligent loved ones being absurdly unsuspicious and most of all, Julian (William Devry) and Ava (West) getting easily pushed around. It’s annoying and sad how much of a chump Julian is. If Fluke told him to run around naked imitating a monkey, he would. At least Ava had the gumption to tell Fluke where to stick it after finding out that he attempted to rape her daughter (8/26). He’s all but poisoned Julian’s loved ones and he’s still at Fluke’s beck and call. The main thing that could bring excitement back to this storyline is a major combustion of villain upheaval. Sidebar: I gasped for air laughing when Julian told Alexis “I know he [Ned] doesn’t break your back the way you like it.” That was straight from black Twitter. Obviously, the writers are trolling, haha.
Jason, Ric, Liz, Nikolas & Britt
So… I have my Stone Cold back!! Jason QuarterMorgan is finally back on canvas! That was the longest 2 years ever; I was starting to think the writers had no plans to restart the character. Popular Young & the Restless star Billy Miller was chosen to fill Steve Burton’s shoes and I think he’s doing a fine job so far. After busting out of Crichton-Clark with (and getting eventually separated from) Robin, Jason was hit by Ava’s car and suffered his 1,000,001 brain injury resulting in memory loss (9/24). Of course, facial surgery was required and no one recognizes him. Things naturally started off slow, with weeks of him being nursed to health by Liz, having chance encounters with many his friends and family and hearing an awful lot about Jason Morgan. Being forced out of the hospital by COS Dr. Liesl Obrecht, he ended up staying with Liz (Rebecca Herbst) and falling for her. The most aggravating and puzzling thing about this period was that Jason, who thinks his name is Jake (his deceased son), seemed to recall everyone on some level by sight or vague flashback but Sam and Carly, which was utterly ridiculous. He even sensed he knew Michael! *shakes head* My ‘JaSam’ (A.K.A. Jason and Sam) heart swooned when Helena (Constance Towers) told him who he was and he immediately said “I gotta find Sam!,” though I knew he never would. Helena stopped him with mind control. Yes, mind control. She and Victor semi-perfected the voodoo they put on Lucky Spencer and intend to use Jason as a criminal super-soldier. If he she says he’ll forget something, he’ll forget. Kind of. Jason has had broken images of holding Sam at gunpoint and freeing Faison. Poor thing; he doesn’t know who he belongs to, where to go or if his recalls are real or not. It’s good to see him getting an actual storyline though. In other news, Jason’s move to kiss Liz on Christmas was interrupted by Ric’s “Hey, I’m not dead, I was in witness protection!” arrival. That clip!! I can’t say enough how fantastic Herbst is; she can give you 50 emotions with 1 expression. Too often, when someone returns from the dead, the appropriate reaction or scene isn’t written. Case in point: when Ric reunited with his daughter, Molly (Haley Pullos) on 12/23. For months, we watched Molly distraughtly scorn her mother for associating with Julian, whose framing of Ric lead to his faux death. She thought her father was 6-feet-under; he shows up right on time for Christmas, but do we get to see the possibly Emmy-worthy tears, shock and awe aftermath? No. Anyway, ‘LiRic’ didn’t waste any time; they were in bed by New Year’s Eve. Between this and Sam knowing he used her as a hostage, the only ghost of girlfriends past for Jason to cozy up to is Carly and I’ve been gushing watching them unknowingly carry on their friendship. Let me just say, it’s so nice to have a reason to fight with ‘LiaSon’ (A.K.A. Liz and Jason) fans again. Maybe the hatchet will be buried since we’re all glad Jason’s back. Lastly, how annoying was it that Robin was the 1 who told Jason Danny was his?! That was Sam’s moment!
There definitely seems to be agreement that ‘LiRic’ is the preference over ‘Niz’ (A.K.A. Nikolas and Liz). Sure enough, Liz shifted her focus back to Prince Nikolas Mikhail Stavrosovich Cassadine (I just like saying his full name) shortly after Ric was pronounced dead and just as likely, everyone encouraged her. I hate that they write the character like that! She makes a beeline to whoever is available. At least this time with Jason and Ric, she really has no prior investment in ‘Jake’ and rationally shouldn’t have any feelings for him. Nikky got her together about her patterns though on 8/29. Ric did some gathering of his own with Julian on 12/30. When the paper gangster had the nerve to play victim in his ordeal, Ric snapped “You’re weak and you’re sloppy.” I see no lies. Back to Nikolas (Tyler Christopher), he and Britt (Kelly Thiebaud) were never ever getting back together when he finally found out she helped young Spencer (Nicholas Bechtel) stage his runaway (12/3). He threatened to press charges and Britt skipped town (in a really nice coat) with Papa Faison. Mama Obrecht stayed behind to tend to her wounded son, Nathan, and there were tearful goodbyes (12/8). Who knew a psycho family could be so heartwarming? Britt also bid formal adieu to Spencer, which killed me. Killing me in a different way was Helena setting his quipping self straight. It’s about time someone put that little boy in his place (though I love him). Queen Cassadine is currently trying to coerce Nikolas into some type of debauchery, dangling his inheritance over his head on 1/9: “Be warned; the job market for dilettante princes is tight these days. Just play ball.” She handed him information on investing in ELQ (Fluke’s target). I hope it gets better than that. I’m down for the prince being under some mind control or something lushly evil for a while. I want to see his Cassadine fangs.
Nathan and Maxie are so adorable and my favorite new couple. I can appreciate Nathan’s (Ryan Paevey) very traditional, protective “I love you so much I will slay a dragon (and get special edition Cartulo heels)” brand of smitten because what he loves most about Maxie is that she can hold her own. It’s been at least a year since Maxie (Kirsten Storms) was legally separated from her daughter Georgie, but when the Christmas miracle of seeing her in Oregon came (12/24), it was crazy anti-climatic and unemotional. Again, no water-works, no stunted breath, no breaking speech about the lengthy journey back to her arms, no holding the child tightly to her bosom in joy. Maxie carried on a regular conversation with Spinelli.
‘Naxie’ commenced with an awkwardly-timed kiss at Crichton-Clark on 9/15, standing over the body of Levi, Maxie’s con-artist fiancé (the non-wedding was on 8/13) who’s aim was to avenge his not-so-deceased father, Peter Harrell, who was still pressed Felicia (Maxie’s mother) dumped him eons ago. I feel like I just said “Brother’s baby mama’s best friend’s cousin,” haha. Levi brought Maxie and Lulu to the clinic with the help of Victor, who wanted to assist Stavros (who was revived along with Jason and Helena) in accosting Lulu’s eggs and creating a fertilized embryo with his sperm (9/9). Stavros is one handsome, sick, twisted and deliciously maniacal devil (his muah-ha-ha laughs are classic). He was eventually shot, but Helena still has the embryo. Lettuce prey. It’s a little too much that he wants to have a baby with his son’s (Nikolas) half-sister. I can’t deal with that happening. On the subject of daddies, we still don’t know who Nathan’s bio-father is and I have no theories. Obrecht (Kathleen Gati) made it clear it wasn’t Victor just before she killed him (9/16). As he took his last breath, he set off a timed bomb to lock all the doors and disintegrate his clinic of secrets. When Anna, Nathan, Maxie, Lulu and Dante unloaded rounds of bullets through the exit (9/17), I thought “This is why I love General Hospital. Most soaps are dainty and about rich, pretty people with problems, but on GH, they bust caps and blow ish up! We’re gangsta’ in Port Charles and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Sweet Nurse Sabrina (Teresa Castillo) went to the dark side after hearing from Carlos (Jeffery Vincent Parise) that Ava might have been responsible for her and Patrick’s collision. She wanted Ava to lose her baby like she did, so she purposely gave her medication that would cause premature birth (9/19). I was salivating at the potential zest, but the story was quickly abandoned. Sabrina was caught by the hospital board off camera and was fired (12/5). Boo.
I could understand Nina’s (Michelle Stafford) thirst for reparations; her life fell apart essentially because Silas (Michael Easton) cheated on her with Ava, who was paid by her mother, Madeline (Donna Mills), to seduce him. I felt bad for her because it was so observable that Silas never loved her. He dumped Ava, took Nina in and struggled to move on after her coma because of guilt, not love. He referred to caring for her as being trapped “like a caged animal (10/14).” I was less sympathetic to her when she drugged Ava to induce labor, stole her baby and went on the run. It was hilarious when Nina likened her delivery skills to when her farm horse gave birth, though (11/4). She’s delightfully batty sometimes. The who-what-when-where-why holes in her arch (ex. why Silas cheated, how Madeline’s motives don’t quite connect) are part of the reason I think the audience had a hard time seeing and/or caring about her brokenness. Meanwhile, Silas has been getting closer to Ava and I can’t say I’m mad about it.
Duke & Anna
While Sonny’s locked up, Duke (Ian Buchannan) is running his organization. I’m here for anything that gives the fabulous Buchannan more screen time doing something feisty. I hate that he and Anna are a part, but hey, all is fair *Tamar Braxton voice* in love and war! She’s been acting a little self-righteous, criticizing Duke for doing the wrong thing for the right reason when she illegally held Faison captive, so I clapped when he called a spade a spade before getting dumped on 11/26. I rolled my eyes when Anna sicked Jordan on the Corinthos mafia just to get at Duke, when there’s bigger fish, like Fluke’s Jerome power, to fry (12/26).
Other Loves, Dislikes & Questions
-3 things about the “Threesome” episode (8/13): theme episodes are genius and I need more, I loved being in “are they really going to do this?!” mode the whole time and only Carly would giddily reminisce about sleeping with her mother’s husband.
-Although Milo being into Epiphany was an interesting surprise, him being bisexual and crushing on Felix would’ve been an even bigger one (8/14 & 8/15).
-Even though Britt & Nikolas didn’t have sex, the tease of it was so hot! *takes notes* Britt was making some moves! She had game (8/15 & 8/18)!
-Josslyn’s shade of Liz’s baby daddy issues was grade A for her to be so young (9/5): “Who can keep it straight anymore?! One day he’s Cameron Webber (Liz’s son), next he’s Cameron Spencer, then back to Webber again!”
-Loved the motherly, cousin moment between Spencer and Sam when SamTrick tried to get info on Fluke; it’s about time those 2 shared a scene (9/8)!
-Why were Sam and Patrick the only ones going to Amsterdam with Tracy? It was a drug, murder and mob investigation! Haha (10/13)! Where was the po-po? The FBI? The DEA?
-I need Lucas to have a real purpose. I thought there was some sneaky, underlying reason he was staying away from the medical field; it’s just he feels he can’t live up to Tony?! Lame (10/20).
-The “Jason gave you your name” scene between Carly and Michael when he was doing paperwork for the legal change was great (11/25).
-The “Did you really want me dead?!” scene between Morgan and Ava was also great (12/10).
-It was quite unsettling how Sonny casually threatened Franco with prison rape on 12/23. I understand in real-life, someone might say that to the man that had their son assaulted, but…
-I need more snarky Sam & Obrecht scenes for sure, haha (1/9).
-Helena’s jabs are always epic, even when they’re directed at my girl Samantha. She needs a shirt that reads “#NatashasBrat” (1/9).
-I’m SO here for Monica getting her groove back and dating (12/24)!
That’s all folks! Best of luck to Kelly Thiebaud who has left PC to pursue other projects!