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SuperWoman's Empathy

9/11/2010

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Being a therapist is not a job you can qualify for or do well just by following rules or instructions. It requires a lot of inherent gifts and skills, too. For example, if you HATE people and you much rather be by yourself, therapy may not be the most ideal field for you. Me realizing this important fact, I’ve started to reflect and ask myself if I have what it takes on the INSIDE to do this job. Several of my friends, family and colleagues think I have multiple natural gifts and skills that will help me be a great therapist. I think I have a handful myself; however, there are other aspects of my personality that I think will clash with therapy and possibly prevent me from being successful in the field. 


I’ve mentioned before on this page how I’m a control freak and how I have a “superman” complex. I see how these two things affect my behavior and life on a regular basis. I CANNOT STAND to feel powerless…I run away from or get agitated with situations that I cannot control or predict the outcome. Does therapy seem like a field I should be in where I have that problem? That, and I’m crazy sensitive about human suffering these days.  The analyzation of how and why it exists has put me in existential (and spiritual) uneasiness. I’ve been having very emotional reactions to human suffering and strife. For example, I started an internship at a vocational rehabilitation center and on the FIRST day, I almost cried. Vocational rehabs typically serve individuals with disabilities and mental/emotional disorders. Depending on the degree of the disability, some may not be able to ever achieve the career goals they desire. As my internship coordinator explained to me how some of the employees have to be the ones to relay this information, my heart sank. I instantaneously felt sad. It made me never want to procrastinate or hesitate with a goal again. I can make whatever career goals I want and actively seek them, but some of them can’t. I was sitting there thinking about how unfair that was, and I began to wonder if any of the clients felt resentment; especially those who suddenly became disabled due to an injury. Fortunately enough, I didn’t cry in front of the coordinator, but I wanted to.
Another example: I was watching “The Bounty Hunter,” and there was this guy they were trying apprehend for a probation violation. When they captured the man, they met his girlfriend and two young children. As they looked at his prior arrests and charges, they discovered that he had been physically abusive to his girlfriend multiple times. When they spoke to the girlfriend about this, she said she had a difficult time leaving him because they were high-school sweethearts and he was “the only thing she knew.” She continually asked if there was some way her boyfriend could get “help.”  In addition, she said she was worried about him being arrested for the probation violation because he was the only source of income for the family. Hours after I saw his episode, I was thinking about that girl and wondering what was going to become of her and children’s future. What was going to become of the boyfriend? It just stuck with me. I thought “if I can’t get someone on T.V. off of my mind, what happens when I get a client like that? I’m going to take this stuff home with me.” I’m way too sensitive right now to go into counseling. I’m too reactive. Maybe my skin will be tougher later on in life, but it isn’t at the moment. So does anyone have any “advice to give…on how to be…insensitive” like the Jann Arden song says?
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The “Ah-ha” Moment That Came from “High School Musical”

6/6/2010

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This is going to sound stupid, but I learned something and had a major epiphany from Disney’s “High School Musical.” In the sequel, one of the morals to the story is that there’s nothing wrong with planning your future, but always make sure to enjoy your youth and present to the fullest. After watching it in January 2008, a light bulb went off. While I was in undergrad, I was sooo focused on my future and career plans, that I forgot to focus any on my present. I spent way too much time with my head in the books, instead of out with my friends. Don’t get me wrong, I had fun in undergrad, but not as much as I should have. Instead of living like I was in my twenties, I was living like I was in my forties. I was too financially frugal, too serious and too uptight. I had to be convinced to spend money on a cell phone and see Justin Timberlake (who I’ve been drooling over since I was 17) in concert. I would pass up weekend vacations or a night on the town to study. It was just ridiculous. What was I thinking? I’m not saying having focus or studying was stupid; I just should have had more balance in my life. I should have listened to my friends when they said I wasn’t having enough fun.
Due to my new epiphany, I decided I was going to take my life back. I realized that I was still young, still 20-something, and the best hadn’t passed me yet. I was going to let loose (within reason) and take life by the balls. Summer of 2008 was on its way, and it was going to be mine. I paid all my bills ahead a few months, stashed some money away for the summer, and by April of 2008, I said “deuces!”  to my sucky job as a call center agent. I let go of my financial penny pinching (again, within reason) and I splurged big on vacations and a brand new wardrobe (NO BLACK! Which was a total 1st for me). I didn’t have a care in the world.

“High School Musical” also managed to reawaken my “inner sunshine princess.” In high school, I was that girl that everyone found annoying because she was smiling and happy all the time. Some people even called me “smiley.” When people asked me how I was doing, I would always say “peachy.” You would think there wasn’t anything sucky about life. For me, there wasn’t a single problem that couldn’t be handled with a smile. I was beyond optimistic. If I did have a problem, I would just say to myself “I’ll survive. It will all be fine soon.” I was giggly, silly, and very innocent-minded. I was as cheesy as Velveeta, corny as Green Giant (based on that joke, you can tell I still am). Somewhere between high school and finishing undergrad, the “sunshine princess “died or faded out. I got serious, jaded…cynical. Maybe my life experiences became too much and I just cracked. I don’t know. But somehow, this cutesy Disney tale about singing and dancing teenagers glued the pieces back together. I think of it as rejuvenation; a blessing. I’m not totally back to my old self, but I’m trying to let the negative part go. I’ve been allowing myself to re-enjoy simple, cheesy, innocent things like the Disney Channel. I’ve been spending more time with my friends. I never say no to a concert these days, and I’ve been doing things I don’t normally do (WITHIN REASON), like experimenting with my wardrobe (I must say I pulled off the “punk” look well, and I wore heels everyday to class for a week-which I NEVER do) and dancing on bars (to “Single Ladies”- it was great!). I saw a couple of movies and went to a concert by myself out of spontaneity. And the 3rd installment of the series, “HSM3: Senior Year,” encouraged me to pursue some alternate career goals I avoided due to fears that I wouldn’t succeed.

While I was in undergrad, one of my friends said  “Jasmine, you’re way ahead of yourself, and when it’s time to be grown, you’re going to try to re-do 18.”
Why is she always right? LOL. That’s exactly what’s happening. Sort of. My graduate program requires me to be professional, focused, serious and studious. I mean after all, I’m being trained to a therapist and mess with people’s heads, right? I’ll be graduating within a year and I’ll have a REAL JOB and be a REAL ADULT. All the new responsibilities and expectations aren’t totally congruent with my new found mindset as I’m trying to be laid-back and take more risks. It’s been crazy and awkward, but I’m trying to work it out. I’m not ready to let go of the spark.

 
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    Help! I'm having  a "Quarter-Life Crisis"!

    What is a "Quarter-Life Crisis", you ask? Well, I'm around 25 and I'm at that stage in life where my "future" personal and career goals are beginning to come into the present...and it's freaking me out lol. Here, I'm sharing my thoughts and experiences as I go through the process of "becoming a real adult".  

    Note: Occasionally, other individuals will be writing posts and they will be marked as such.    Want to be contributor for this section of the site? Click the "Contact/Info" tab to find out how!

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