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Why We Are In Crisis

10/20/2010

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Or at least one of the reasons anyway.

I recently spent some time with my older cousins (they’re 34 and 42), who decided to sit me down and chat about my “quarter-life” crisis. They had heard of the concept, but couldn’t understand for the life of them why my generation felt so distressed about the future and, in some cases, anticipated bleak outcomes. I tried and tried to explain, but to no avail. To them, every other generation had gone through the same stressors and we were just trippin’. When I explained that we feared getting stuck in an unfulfilling job or career for an extended period time and being unhappy, they refuted that it was because we didn’t have any patience or work ethic and had a huge sense of entitlement. “You have to work your way up. You’re not going to get your dream job out of college. You have to do what you have to do to pay bills. You may have to take that sucky job to get where you wanna go. You guys are just so entitled; for some reason you think you shouldn’t have to work and start out at the bottom. I don’t recall being so concerned about the future when I was 25.” I guess since they weren’t worried, we shouldn’t be, and it’s just preposterous and silly that anyone would. Especially since we’re graduating from college and going into an unstable economy and workforce. Yeah, we’re freakin’ crazy for being worried. Silly us. I was being told how to feel for about an hour or so.

Yes, we might be a little entitled and spoiled, but that’s not at the heart of our fears or anxieties. At the heart is our fear that will we become our parents; the people that “did what they had to do” and ended up in careers that they were barely content with. Their contentment stops at “it pays the bills.” We want something more than that. Lord forbid we want jobs that not only pay our bills, but help us exert our passions as well. We understand that we have to crawl before we walk, we’re just afraid we’re going to be doing that for the rest of our lives…like our parents did. Our parents worked/work like dogs, sometimes 2 and 3 jobs, just to provide the smallest things, and still ended up living “check to check.” “Where would you get the idea that you’d have an unfulfilling work life?!” my cousins asked. Our parents. “Why do you think that if you have a sucky job, your whole life is going to be affected?” Because we spend most of our time awake at work, and depending on what else you have going on (a high-stress job, kids, school, etc.), you might not have the stamina or time for yourself. Which, I’m surprised my 34-yr-old cousin didn’t get the point about the impact of work on your overall life, considering she was only in town because she might not be home for the HOLIDAYS because of her JOB.

“You're a slave to money then you die” (The Verve-"Bittersweet Symphony")
This is what we’re afraid of; living these lyrics.

“So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.” (“Office Space”-film)
This is what we’re afraid of; relating to this quote.

I love how my cousins acted like there aren’t millions of people on the planet who are discontent with their work life, and their discontentment doesn’t carry over into their non-work life. What do they think is on the list of stressors for people who are having a mid-life crisis? Much like the young people decades ago who strived to go to college to avoid the factory labor path of their parents, we strive to avoid the monotonous, restrictive, unfulfilling career paths of our parents.

My pow-wow with my cousins reminded me of why I have this section of the blog. To promote awareness, foster understanding and create a forum for all of us 20-somethings in distress. 20-somethings: somehow, someway we’re going to figure this out.

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Scared of 25: Cubicles, Lumberg, and Monotony

6/7/2010

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Dude, part of me having a “quarter-life crisis” is the fear of monotony. Right now, being a student, my life is fairly spontaneous and fairly eventful. It was even more eventful in undergraduate; endless fun. As I get closer to graduation, everything is getting realllll serious. Internships, interviews, butt-kissing, I’m expected to super-professional ALL THE TIME. Can’t be myself without being corrected. Some of my friends who have already graduated and are in the workforce say that the money is good, but they barely have time to spend it because they spend most of their time at work. They complain that when they finally get home from work, their busted and often hit the sack. If they try to go out after work, it seems like it’s no time before they have to head home. The weekends go by too fast, there aren’t enough hours in the day and vacation time is few and far between. Does it matter what shift you work? Nope. Not according to them. From their perspective, 40 hours a week ALWAYS translates into 8 hours asleep, 8 hours at work, and 6 hours to yourself ( the other 2hrs are spent getting ready for and driving to work). 6 hours goes by fast (and you get EVEN LESS than 6 hours to yourself if you have children).
 I imagine that things can get pretty mundane when your schedule is that predictable and repetitive. One of my friends posted a Facebook status that said “School, work, church….over and over and over… which is why I’m bored out of my mind with life…”

Among the other complaints about the daily grind is the shortening social circle. Everyone you knew before you got in the workforce is either in another state or just as busy as you are. Everyone at work you either have nothing in common with or there’s a limit to how close you can get to them because of professional ethics. Speaking of “professional ethics,” remember when I mentioned having to be super-professional ALL THE TIME? Well, if you spend most of your time awake at work, then that means you spend most of your time being the “professional,” you and not yourself. How suffocating and frustrating. What kind of life is that?

Now, the remedy most people offer for avoiding monotony in work is “finding something you enjoy.” But how many people REALLY get to do that? My biggest fear is that no matter how hard I try, I’m going to end up with a job where I dread getting up in the morning and I’m bored to tears with life. Ever see “I Think I Love My Wife” with Chris Rock? I’m afraid of being his kind of bored LOL. Ever see the film “Office Space”? I’m afraid of feeling that kind of suffocated and unhappy without any relief. I’m going to go insane! For me, that’s what turning 25 equates to: a cubicle and/or office prison with a jerk for a boss (i.e. Lumberg from “Office Space”) and no time for myself. Yeah, I’ll have way more money than I have now and that would be great, but at what cost? I would like to believe that I’d be “different” and I won’t end up in that situation, but I don’t know. I don’t know what my chances are at breaking the mold and LOVING my job while I make money. I’m so scared that I’ll end up with a boring career/life, that I wrote a song about it. Most of my friends say it hits right on the nail and they share my same feelings. I feel like pulling a “Van Wilder” (yet another movie that reflects my career crisis) and keeping myself from graduating so I won’t have to become a “real adult.” Most people are excited about graduating and getting their hands dirty in counseling. Me, I’m like “Get me outta here!!” Can’t I just be 21 again and be 21 forever? I guess I see why there’s a chain of clothing stores called “Forever 21” and not “Forever 25.”

 


 
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    Help! I'm having  a "Quarter-Life Crisis"!

    What is a "Quarter-Life Crisis", you ask? Well, I'm around 25 and I'm at that stage in life where my "future" personal and career goals are beginning to come into the present...and it's freaking me out lol. Here, I'm sharing my thoughts and experiences as I go through the process of "becoming a real adult".  

    Note: Occasionally, other individuals will be writing posts and they will be marked as such.    Want to be contributor for this section of the site? Click the "Contact/Info" tab to find out how!

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