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J. Says Journal: Feeling Invisible

10/4/2011

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Straight from my journal, live and in living print.
9/30/11 1:30am
I have something to say and I’m ready to be listened to, instead of just heard. I’m tired of being content with breadcrumbs; I want a loaf of bread. I’m ready to use my talents, display my creativity and actually have people appreciate it…
Most of my life I have felt invisible. At best, visible, but ignored. An afterthought. In the eyes of those around me, I’m good for the moment when all else fails. I’m not special enough to be acknowledged, prioritized or put on any type of pedal stool. If I wasn’t here anymore, then I’d be important; since we only like to give people their flowers after their gone. Then you’d watch closely and listen intently. Some might come to me worried after they read this, but as soon as I appear to “feel better,” they’ll be gone. Care is periodic and conditional. It almost like there’s a time window.

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