I’m a big believer in pausing and taking time to absorb the epiphanies that come after a life-changing or lesson-giving experience. When coming out of such an event, I believe one should take time to reflect, analyze, readjust and rebuild. What just happened to me and what am I supposed to learn from this? How did I get here, where do I want to go now and how do I get there? All too often, people continue about life without absorbing the helpful life tools that the experience presented. They may have an epiphany, but they don’t take time to figure out how to implement it. The end result is making the same mistakes over and over again and not developing into the person they were meant to be or doing what they were meant to do. In application to coming out of a relationship and going right into another, those who don’t heal up or “absorb the epiphany,” end up dating a person with a similar personality or bringing detrimental emotional baggage into the relationship. Emotional baggage comes in a lot of different forms, too. It can come in the form of trust issues, paranoia, codependence, or having unreasonable expectations of your partner (like subconsciously expecting them to fill your voids or patch up your heart; which only YOU can do).
I am going to be honest with myself: I’M NOT READY. I’m not ready for ANY type of romantic undertaking, and I refuse to engage with someone romantically in an attempt “to move on.” I refuse to make a band-aid out of someone. I refuse to engage being “half” a person. If I pursue dating or a relationship, I want it to be because of what someone is bringing to the table and I’m equipped to go forth, NOT because I need to try something to start over. Crawling up under another person is NOT the answer to healing. It’s an internal issue that requires an internal resolution.