Since I’ve decided to NOT be a traditional therapist, I’ve been considering other career options. It’s been a confusing and stressful time choosing a course, so when I have a concept of what I MIGHT want to pursue, it’s a real downer when all my mom can say in response is “will that pay you anything?” Granted, income offering is an important factor to be considered when seeking employment opportunities, but I would think my mother would be remotely elated that her vocationally discombobulated child finally decided on something. Instead of asking questions that would incite a conversation, like “what appeals to you about that field?” or “what’s the best way to attain that type of position?” she’s all about the pay. Lord forbid I say “I don’t know how much it pays, I have to look into it,” and a lecture ensues about how she wants me to be financially stable, as if that’s not something I desire. By that time, I’m no longer interested in sharing my excitement about my new professional plan of action.
I try to be understanding of fact that my mother wants me to learn from her mistakes and not have the same financial struggles that she has, but I would like her to be more understanding that it’s important to me to find meaningful, purposeful work that is both fulfilling and lucrative. One day, I was telling my mother how the young people I meet online via promoting J.Says seem to all be in crisis. In one week, I met a 13 year old that had a miscarriage, a 16-year old that was self-mutilating and a 14-year old with an eating disorder. I expressed my interest in taking a position at a non-profit organization for girls and told her that positively influencing young women is something I’m passionate about. What did my mom say? “Can you get paid well working at non-profit?” I was so frustrated. Not only was that statement slightly off topic (we were talking about youth), but it devalued a position I deem to be important. When my mother mentions pay off the cuff, it makes me feel like my goal isn’t good enough. Wanting to make a positive societal impact isn’t good enough unless the position pays well. Strippers make a lot of money; maybe she’d be more excited and pleased if I hit the pole.
I try to be understanding of fact that my mother wants me to learn from her mistakes and not have the same financial struggles that she has, but I would like her to be more understanding that it’s important to me to find meaningful, purposeful work that is both fulfilling and lucrative. One day, I was telling my mother how the young people I meet online via promoting J.Says seem to all be in crisis. In one week, I met a 13 year old that had a miscarriage, a 16-year old that was self-mutilating and a 14-year old with an eating disorder. I expressed my interest in taking a position at a non-profit organization for girls and told her that positively influencing young women is something I’m passionate about. What did my mom say? “Can you get paid well working at non-profit?” I was so frustrated. Not only was that statement slightly off topic (we were talking about youth), but it devalued a position I deem to be important. When my mother mentions pay off the cuff, it makes me feel like my goal isn’t good enough. Wanting to make a positive societal impact isn’t good enough unless the position pays well. Strippers make a lot of money; maybe she’d be more excited and pleased if I hit the pole.
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