There are many reasons why people get upset when they see those of their ethnicity in relationships with others. Some are prejudice or have issues with interracial dating in general. Others have a problem with those that EXCLUSIVELY date outside of their race. Race-based dating exclusivity communicates to those of your own culture that they’re not good enough for you and that there’s something wrong with them. That’s hurtful. It’s like you’re disavowing your own culture. You might ask “what’s wrong with having a preference?” exclusively dating one race is PASSED a preference. Exclusivity is strict and unwavering. Exclusivity is “I ONLY date__________ people.”
As a black woman, I’ve come across many black men who only date Caucasian, Asian, or Hispanic women for various reasons such as “I’m not attracted the features of black women,”“black women have bad attitudes” and “I haven’t had good experiences with black women.” When physical features are mentioned, it perplexes me because most people of the same race have similar features. It makes me want to ask “Are you not attracted to yourself then?” Also, their mothers, sisters and cousins are black women with “those features.” Do they think their family is ugly too? They came from a black woman and yet, a black woman isn’t suitable enough to date. As for “bad attitudes,” bad apples are on every tree. ANY person of ANY race can have a bad attitude. “Bad experiences” may be the result of not surrounding yourself with quality black women.
Taking another look at exclusivity rationales, statements like “they have bad attitudes” or “I’ve had bad experiences with them” are based on stereotypes and unjust bias. Are you really going to judge an ENTIRE race of people because of a small few? Majority of race-based dating choices link back to stereotypes, unjust bias, prejudice and/or racism. One has to analyze what thoughts or feelings lead to dating preferences and exclusivity based on ethnicity. People usually make preferences because of things they don’t like. I prefer to date someone who enjoys Beyonce` versus hates Beyonce`, because those that are anti-Beyonce` tend to annoy me. So what is it that you don’t like about a certain race that you prefer another? And what is the root of your dislike? Are you sure that it isn’t a stereotype or prejudice?
As a black woman, I’ve come across many black men who only date Caucasian, Asian, or Hispanic women for various reasons such as “I’m not attracted the features of black women,”“black women have bad attitudes” and “I haven’t had good experiences with black women.” When physical features are mentioned, it perplexes me because most people of the same race have similar features. It makes me want to ask “Are you not attracted to yourself then?” Also, their mothers, sisters and cousins are black women with “those features.” Do they think their family is ugly too? They came from a black woman and yet, a black woman isn’t suitable enough to date. As for “bad attitudes,” bad apples are on every tree. ANY person of ANY race can have a bad attitude. “Bad experiences” may be the result of not surrounding yourself with quality black women.
Taking another look at exclusivity rationales, statements like “they have bad attitudes” or “I’ve had bad experiences with them” are based on stereotypes and unjust bias. Are you really going to judge an ENTIRE race of people because of a small few? Majority of race-based dating choices link back to stereotypes, unjust bias, prejudice and/or racism. One has to analyze what thoughts or feelings lead to dating preferences and exclusivity based on ethnicity. People usually make preferences because of things they don’t like. I prefer to date someone who enjoys Beyonce` versus hates Beyonce`, because those that are anti-Beyonce` tend to annoy me. So what is it that you don’t like about a certain race that you prefer another? And what is the root of your dislike? Are you sure that it isn’t a stereotype or prejudice?
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