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Gender Roles

12/20/2011

11 Comments

 
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I’ve had multiple discussions with various people about the origins, impact and application of traditional gender roles and I always end up feeling the same way about them: I kind of think they should be abolished. I feel they do more harm than good, and that might be because of how they’re typically applied, but that’s how I feel. In terms of their usual function in marriage and family dynamics, traditional gender roles can be counteractive to familial bonds, border on being oppressive or paralyzing and build resentment between partners and family members. Under a conservative gender-role model, men are supposed to be the main (if not the only) source of income, manage all the finances/business matters of the home (ex. insurance) and perform any remote physical labor involved in maintaining the household (ex. mowing the lawn or taking out the trash). Women are to handle the child-care, cook and clean.
Resentment can easily build as partners may feel burdened by having to be the only one to do a certain task and desire additional help and/or feel like their contributions are taken for granted, underestimated or undervalued (for example, a man being viewed as an inadequate caretaker because family income is low or some feeling that being a housewife is not “real” work). Resentment can also develop if partners feel forced into or limited by their roles, and judged if they seek to step out of them (ex. a woman being made to feel guilty or that she’s a less efficient mother if she has a demanding job, or a man being labeled as weak for being a house-husband). Counteraction to familial bonds can occur with this model as fathers may be more emotionally detached or distant from their children due to mothers taking a more involved, daily role. Also, children can feel neglected by or detached from their opposite sex parent if parental involvement is delegated by gender (ex. things related to Bobby are handled by daddy and things related to Laura are handled by mommy).

PictureExec wives:bad moms? House-husbands:weak men?
Strictly-implemented gender roles can lead to paralyzation in the event that the other partner is not available to perform their designated duty due to death, disability, incapacitation or abandonment (ex. if a woman has never handled the family’s finances nor has any knowledge of how to do it, and her husband is incapacitated, major complications may arise). It only makes sense to me to gender assign responsibilities if it’s based on the physical differences between men and women. Men are generally stronger than women; there are tasks that women will have an immensely difficult time performing. Other than that, if both individuals are capable of completing a task, I don’t see why both can’t do it.

In our society, traditional ideas about gender permeate almost every aspect of our daily lives to excess. Children can’t even willfully choose what toys to play with because of such stringent ideas on what’s a “boy toy” and a “girl toy.” Not to mention “boy toys” and “girl toys” are hard-lined gender-role reinforcers: girls get accustomed to child-care early with urinating baby-dolls and boys get the notion that they’re the only ones that can serve the country with G.I. Joe “action figures” (forbid they’re called dolls instead of action figures). This saturated application is why I find rigid gender roles to be more harmful than helpful. They’ve created a sense of competition between men and women and an obsession with power as individuals ferociously seek to avoid being in a subordinate position. It’s also at the root of inferiority/superiority complexes and self-esteem issues (ex. why a male feels less than if he hasn’t had sexual intercourse by particular age or why females are so obsessed with reaching beauty standards). Why is it that when a male is sexually-assaulted or domestically abused, no one believes him or he's labeled as frail? Gender role ideas. Why was Nancy Pelosi asked who would take care of her children when she was seeking a governmental career? Male politicians don’t get asked that. Gender role ideas. Why was there a male heckler with a sign that read “Iron My Shirt” at a Hillary Clinton rally? Gender role ideas. Behind sexism, misandry, misogyny, gender-bias and gender-stereotypes are traditional roles.

When confronted with the concept of altering the gender-role model or eradicating it, some people fight it tooth and nail. I think some fight against it so hard because they don’t know life without gender-roles. People are afraid of or confused by what they’re not familiar with. Transitioning to a more egalitarian model won’t be easy, considering how conditioned we are, but it can be done. It begins with openness. 

11 Comments
Ravi link
12/30/2011 01:42:51 am

good post

Reply
Juan
1/5/2012 01:27:56 pm

When asking this question, one must ask where these roles originated. I believe that while established in ancient times, they have been perpetuated and bolstered by religion and it's role in society. Especially in the Abrahamic religions, where the man is seen as the head of the household and most of the responsibility of the overall well being of the family falls on him, while the main responsibility of the family is to obey. I think in order to abolish gender roles, you'll have to remove religion as a social influence. I don't see that happening any time soon.

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Crystal D.
3/28/2012 01:12:10 am

Then of course if religious influence is removed from society we would have a whole new set of problems, the most prominent being the collapse of the judicial system

Reply
M.
1/8/2012 05:33:18 pm

I think you hit the nail on the head- that people cling to gender roles because we depend on binaries. They make everything ostensibly less complicated, because people can place everything into its little black-or-white appointed box, and boom - easy. Gray areas are messy and people don't like messy, because it throws everything we thought we knew about how things are "supposed to be." People tend to react to gender variance with this overblown panicky fear, as if the world as we know it is going to end because Angelina Jolie dresses her daughter in boy's clothes. 
But it's a genuine kind of fear, because I think people unconsciously think, "What do you mean, girls don't have to wear pink dresses and play with dolls? Then what IS a girl really? If gender isn't concrete, than what in the hell is?" It's the same damn reason that people tell queer people all the time that they can't be bisexual or whatever because they have to be "one or the other" or tell biracial people that they have to pick "one or the other" identity. People have to be "black or white," "boys or girls," "straight or gay," "republicans or democrats"... Hyperbole, but I make my point. I really don't think gender necessarily has to be a damaging concept, because we're all gonna live our lives in our own gendered capacity. It's just how to get people's minds out of that linear binary gutter where they fear and despise the unknown and use that fear to limit others. If that makes any sense at all, It made sense in my head. Anyway. Sorry to be long and ranty.
I just discovered your website and I love it, keep on keepin' on. 

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co je to seo link
1/26/2012 07:17:44 am

Appreciate your details

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rychlé půjčky link
3/22/2012 02:33:51 am

will come back soon

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Leopold link
3/25/2012 04:27:01 pm

Great info, thanks

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Crystal D.
3/28/2012 01:06:44 am

I think Juan is right about Judaism, Christianity, Islam being what has cemented gender roles in society. Gender roles aren't such a bad thing if we're reasonable about it. The Bible tells the wife to "submit" to her husband, but the reason most women balk at this idea is because their husband doesn't love them "as Christ loves the church". I don't think a woman would mind serving a man who puts her needs above his own and would even be willing to die to protect her. I think we should recognize that in modern society it is sometimes necessary for both parents to work outside the home and share chores accordingly. The only real reason for a wife to stay home anymore is to nurse an infant. Other than that, either parent could stay home if they are willing to care for the house and being out of the workforce doesn't make them feel invalidated. Parents' strict interpretation of gender roles leads to their children feeling inadequate and unloved when they don't fit the box.

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Azziz link
7/11/2012 09:52:45 pm

will come back shortly

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BeyHiveOnTop
1/22/2014 03:36:05 pm

I couldn't agree more. A lot of these gender roles are supported by biological determination. Where people feel, because of their sex (biologically), they must behave a certain way. But we all know, these ideals are all socially constructed. I for one, feel like as a female, do not fit some of the gender roles. There is not a submissive bone in my body also, I am not a house maintenance person. Most of my matters deals with things outside of the home. So already, these gender roles and these expectations would have a toll on me, especially if my spouse believes in these expectations.

What we need is more feminist males. Males who are aware of these gender role reinforcements and challenges them. Also men who do not feel emasculated because they are not the sole breadwinner or the one with higher salary. Marriage and family should always be about partnership and interchangeable roles. I shouldn't get dirty looks if I ask my husband to cook dinner tonight or change the diapers. I was on twitter and I realize that there is a growing number of male feminist. We are making strides, but still, there is a lot of work to do.

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Lisa
3/8/2016 03:46:51 pm

When a male gets sexually assaulted by a female he assaults her in retaliation in order to regain his manhood which causes women to be very afraid of approaching men. If they rape men, they can get raped back. Men are very intimidating and want to be in charge at all costs.

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