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Married with Separate Bedrooms?

8/12/2011

2 Comments

 
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First, let me say that I have NEVER been married and the following article is JUST A THOUGHT. NOT gospel. NOT truth. There’s your disclaimer.

What if married couples had separate bedrooms? I think it might be a good idea. Marriage comes with enough of its own challenges and stressors without having to share a bedroom and blend two very personal living dynamics. You can keep the lights on and go to bed at any hour, hog bed sheets and closet space, snore, play music whenever, masturbate without having a discussion or audience and be messy or clean at your own leisure and discretion. I know the idea of a married couple living in separate bedrooms is unorthodox and may sound awkward, but think about it: As a minor, you CAN’T WAIT to turn 18 or go to college so that you can live and operate as you please without having to ask permission. Then, as a college student, you CAN’T WAIT to get out of a shared dorm and have an apartment so you don’t have to compromise every little aspect of your life, like listening to the radio versus the television.  You get your 1st apartment with a room-mate and you think having separate bedrooms is the perfect solution, until you get to arguing about dishes in the sink and significant others wearing out their welcome.  Finally, you get a place by yourself, you’re walking around naked and you’re in HEAVEN.  Now, all of that has to change because you’ve gotten married. You have to go back to sharing all of your space and property with another person. FOR AS LONG AS YOU BOTH SHALL LIVE. Ugh.

Being married with separate bedrooms makes the “1st apartment with a room-mate” scenario slightly more ideal. Your spouse has more common with you than a random room-mate or friend (I would think), walking around naked is still an option, and there’s no such thing as a significant other wearing out their welcome. Another major plus to having separate bedrooms is that when you get angry or just need some quiet “me” time to relax, you can. When you want to be in each other’s faces, convene in the living room or play “my room or yours?”  Not with separate bedrooms? Well, what about separate bathrooms, at least?  I’m a huge believer in separate bathrooms; it can save ANY type of relationship or living situation. People are pickier about their bathrooms than anything else, which makes sense considering it’s the most intimate space in a home. You do things no one else is supposed to see in the bathroom. No two people have the same lavatory life; it’s meant to live separately. One of my friends used to fuss at me because I left the shower curtain open when I spent the night. I’d be mad because the tub wasn’t clean when I got there.  What’s a big deal to one person is small to another. Moral to my story, I think it’s healthy for a couple to create some type of individual space in their home, because after all, we all like to have the convenience of doing things unapologetically our way some time. If you’re wealthy enough, you can have your own wing lol. What do you guys think?


2 Comments
Brianna
8/12/2011 01:28:21 am

Personally, I like this idea a lot. However, it would work better for me to have my own room where I can put my books and computer. My boyfriend wants a room of his own where he can keep his guitars and amps. We are very busy people separately and tend to spend a lot of time apart during the day; at night, we just want to be together. That's the time that we can most consistently spend together.

Reply
Crystal W.
8/14/2011 03:50:12 pm

I agree with what Brianna said. It would probably be a better idea to have spaces for doing other activities (like having your own sewing room or home office). Separate bathrooms sounds like a pretty good idea too. There's not always room to get ready at the same time and most women's stuff takes up every inch of counter space anyway. Can't say I'm hip to the idea of separate bedrooms though. If people want that, it's up to them, but that seems like a bit too much division. If someone's really interested in being independent and not ever having to compromise, marriage might not have been the best decision in the first place. A good marriage has a lot to do with being flexible and learning to let go of the silly things that don't matter. It's not really that much of a stretch between spouses having separate bedrooms and them being just roommates. Cuddling and snuggling matters at least as much if not more than actually copulating.

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